


Primal

by Rennie75



Series: Senses [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 04:52:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennie75/pseuds/Rennie75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the ADULT sequel to Fight or Flight!  This focuses on Oliver learning to use his heightened senses after returning from the Island.  Set early in the show but clearly not actually canon compliant!  Definitely Olicity and definitely smutty so enter at your own risk!  ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sharing the Night

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I'm just playing - no legal infringement intended!

It's only in the darkness of night that he allows his senses free reign and embraces the rush of the impressions. It's only at night that he fully trusts and acts on his instincts. As Oliver stares into Felicity's eyes he realizes that he should have known not to be out at night alone with Felicity without at least one mask in place. He acknowledges this even as he pulls her to him roughly for full body contact before he lowers his head to meet her lips. Despite the pull of his instincts and the demand to know Felicity, the kiss wasn't rough…it was tender, exploratory, teasing…until Diggle's voice over the comms pulls them back.

"Nice night, huh? Perhaps you two should move it back inside before there's more gossip. Not to mention one Thea Queen is about to make an entrance." Diggle ended on a chuckle. His position as back-up outside had allowed the perfect vantage point to see the kiss shared by his friends. While he had no objection to a union between them he didn't think now was the appropriate place for the Arrow and his IT partner to get it on.

At that very moment, Thea appeared in the doorway asking for Oliver's help. Oliver met her gaze briefly before returning his eyes to Felicity. She had kept her eyes on him despite the growing blush on her cheeks. Oliver couldn't help the grin as he realized he now knew Felicity's taste and it was simply Felicity: light, bright and irresistible. His grin grew a little wider as he tightened his grip on her hips and winked at her.

He knew flight was her best choice but Oliver was just beginning to realize how willing he was to fight for her.

Oliver couldn't help indulging in a final look over his shoulder at Felicity and that look forced him to stumble as he continued away from her. Felicity was wearing a deep blue dress that flowed from one shoulder down her body is a light Grecian style. At that moment, the breeze caught her dress and molded it perfectly to her body even as the moonlight filtered through the clouds and shadowed part of her from him. Again, Oliver was driven to solve the mystery of this woman with all of his senses.

As Oliver again stumbled Thea started grumbling about him needing to get a room later but for now she needed his undivided attention.

Oliver tucked his desires away and played his part for the remainder of the evening even if part of his attention was always reserved for Felicity. However, it was not difficult to keep her in his line of sight as she seemed just as determined to keep her eyes on him too. Oliver knew they would draw unwanted attention if he continued to stare at her so he instead managed to get her to his side while he continued to play the part of a charming billionaire. Even though he controlled the urge to stare constantly at Felicity he wasn't as successful at blocking out other details of the blond girl's presence. It seemed that without the use of sight to focus on Felicity his other senses were strengthened in their attention to her. He noted when she grabbed hastily at the drink tray and took several swallows before gasping softly for air. He noted she was moving restlessly and even that her hips rolled as she shifted her weight from side to side. He could smell the sweet apple scent of her shampoo and hear the nervous tapping of her nails against the champagne flute. And again his mind wondered to her taste and testing to see if the champagne lingered on her lips.

All in all it was a frustrating exercise in control for Oliver and he was relieved when the clock finally reached an acceptable time to leave. He was sure no one, even Felicity, noted how he lingered when helping her with her wrap nor that he felt the light fabric of her dress brush against his leg nor how the silk of her hair had fallen gently over his hand. Felicity was still his personal mystery to solve and these tantalizingly little puzzle pieces just reinforced his desire to know her.

The car ride began somewhat tensely even though Felicity rambled nonstop as was her habit. There seemed to be an edge to her voice and Oliver cocked his head slightly to focus on it even as he met Diggle's eyes in the rearview mirror. At the stern look in his friend's eyes, Oliver knew he was aware of the edge and the reason for it. Oliver also knew Diggle would hold him accountable for this choice as he would as well. Oliver gave a brief acknowledging nod then turned his head to watch the city scape blur by.

Felicity's voice had trailed off and each of the three seemed wrapped up in their own thoughts or so Oliver had thought. He was surprised when Felicity's hand found his and she interlaced their fingers. The gesture was more sweet than sensual but the soft feel of her skin against his own was definitely a sensual experience for Oliver. He quickly noted the nervous fluttering of her pulse even as he realized her hands were cold. He pulled their joined hands onto his thigh leaving Felicity's on top so he could cover it with his other hand. Hoping to warm her and return the sweet gesture, he started tracing light patterns on her hand and met her eyes and smiled at her. Oliver again knew this woman possessed the ability to draw strong and often conflicting emotions from him – he wanted to both shield her in warm sweetness at the same time he wanted to strip her clothes and find a less platonic way to warm her.

Oliver looked away from the temptation and dropped his head back on the seat. The moon roof above lived up to its name and perfectly captured the full moon overhead. Oliver watched for a moment as the sight brought to mind a particular night on the island. A similar full moon was overhead but it was tree branches that framed the view then. He could still feel the balmy breeze from the water and could replay the call of island owl as that night was burned into his mind. That was the night when he was no longer afraid or unsure, he still knew death was there but he accepted it, accepted the night and even accepted himself. He knew it wasn't what Felicity meant when she asked for good stories from the island but it was the only one he had and treasured. He had felt not just free but alive as for once he had gloried in his life on the island.

It was that feeling he was embracing now with Felicity – a feeling he never thought to have again. His freedom was now curtailed not just by his public persona but also a hood and mask. Both disguises chafed on occasion but he accepted that as his penance. The night still offered the feeling of being alive and the feeling was more pronounced considering he often spent his days trapped inside behind a desk. However, those night time feelings were something he suppressed as he knew he needed to be the Arrow not the vigilante. Giving in to the freedom of the night he remembered from the island would result in deaths that he no longer wanted on his conscience.

Oliver brought his focus from the night of past and back to gaze at woman at his side. He not only felt free and alive with Felicity but he found he was anxious to show her that side of himself. Up until now it had been about solving the mystery of this remarkable woman but now he realized he wanted her to know him as well. He wanted to share the night with her and have share the feeling of being alive and free.

Unfortunately, he also realized he needed to wait a little longer for that chance. At that thought he unintentionally squeezed her hand and she looked up in question. Oliver wasn't sure what she read in his face but she did suddenly smile softly at him as she returned the squeeze on his hand.

They finally arrived at the club and as Oliver stepped out into the night his raised his senses again as he placed a hand to block Felicity's exit. He took a moment to listen and feel the night not just to locate any potential threats but also, for the first time, to feel the possibilities he wanted to embrace with increasing desperation. With a deep breath he relaxed somewhat and turned to assist Felicity from the car even as he met Diggle's eyes. He gave the man a quick nod as neither could locate any immediate dangers.

Diggle took a moment to look between the two before stating quietly, "I think I'm done for the night." There was a pointed pause before he continued, "Oliver, you'll take care of Felicity, right?" All three read the meaning of that question and Felicity looked away quickly to at least pretend to ignore it.

Oliver however kept her hand in his as he replied to Diggle, "Yes, I will." His voice was confident, calm even as he felt the quiver of his senses coming alive.

Oliver and Felicity entered their lair even as Diggle pulled away in the company car. Neither spoke a word as Oliver maintained contact with their hands. As he looked around the lair he was grateful for the continuing improvements that Felicity had made, in particular both the couch nearby and the bed and showers they had in the back. He did realize it wasn't the most romantic setting and his brow furrowed as he considered other options. The mansion was out as he didn't think Felicity would want to go there and he was less than enthusiastic at the possibility of interruptions from his family. Her apartment was possible and he knew she would be comfortable there but…

Oliver's thoughts were interrupted as Felicity released his hand and brought both hands to his face to pull him in even as she moved closer. Their bodies flush against one another, Felicity started with a few light brushes of her mouth against his before nipping playfully at his bottom lip.

To Oliver, it felt like a jolt of pure electricity. He was sure his heart stuttered momentarily before picking up a much faster rhythm even as his breath did the same. However, with his mouth locked on Felicity, breathing was momentarily postponed as insignificant. Felicity wriggled deliciously against him requiring him to pull his mouth away long enough to issue a moan which became a growl as she did it again. She also used the opportunity of distance from his mouth to move her own along his jaw bone and to his ear. After a quick bite and swish of her tongue she whispered, "This is the perfect place, its home for both of us."

Oliver had to take a moment to understand her comment and that she had read his concern without him telling her. As Felicity's husky laugh sounded in his ear he realized she might be just as determined to solve him as he was to solve her. For the first time since his return, Oliver felt not just a sensory overload but a desire to give into it, a comfort and joy in it that he only felt with Felicity. As they came together it wasn't just a controlled exploration on his part or even on hers. Neither was completely under their own control as their first focus was on the other one. Instead of practiced moves and a calculated sensory assault that Oliver had planned it was a kaleidoscope of sensations that even with his well-honed senses he couldn't control nor fully process.

He only realized neither of them was breathing when the sound of him slowing lowering the zipper on Felicity's dress broke the silence.

The sight of her lacy green bra and panties briefly provided a clear focus to the jumble of sensations Oliver embraced but as Felicity prevented him from removing them by stepping in to remove his own shirt he was again a drift on a sea of sensations.

While Felicity had stopped wearing perfume, Oliver did discover her body lotion carried a slight herbal scent as he buried his face in the side of her neck. He quickly sought another pulse point as he lowered his face to trace the outline of her bra with his tongue. His action prompted a tightening of Felicity's hands in his hair as she moaned softly. Oliver closed his eyes to focus on the scent and sound which meant he soon echoed her moan with one of his own. He opened his eyes and watched as Felicity's skin reacted to his breath. He couldn't resist rasping his tongue against her sensitive skin.

Oliver pulled back to savor the unique taste of Felicity on his tongue. He also focused his eyes on Felicity and it was easy to see her arousal in her heavy lidded glance and pink flush to her skin. Oliver wanted and needed to know more though and continued the sensory overload for them both.

Despite his usual skills in awareness and control, Oliver wasn't aware that they had crossed the room until he felt Felicity pulling them down. He couldn't quite figure out how they had made their way to the couch nor how Felicity had divested him of the remainder of his clothes even as she continued to wear her bra, panties and thigh high stockings. At this point though, Oliver was willing to let those observations slide in favor of pulling Felicity in tight instead of allowing her to lower them to the couch. A few more heated kisses had her pushing up against him and Oliver took the opportunity to unclasp her bra. The raspy sound of the lace sliding across her skin fascinated him. He quickly hooked his thumbs into the lacy panties as he was eager to hear the sound repeated down her long legs.

Oliver went to his knees to completely remove Felicity's panties and took the opportunity to gaze up her body to meet her eyes. Maintaining the eye contact he brought his hands up the outside of her legs reveling in the smooth skin and heat emanating from her body even as she shivered sensuously. He paused at her hips and pushed her gently back to lower her to sit on the couch and allowed his hands to come back down to rest as her bent knees.

He had the nearly irresistible urge to sweep up her body for a kiss when she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth; however, remembering another earlier observation of her, he smiled and swept his hands down to her feet. As he had expected, Felicity had curled her toes in as she bit her lip. Oliver brought one foot to rest on his shoulder and started moving his lips along her leg. At her knee, he again absorbed the light spicy scent of her lotion and took a few moments to try and discover the flavor as well. Felicity bringing her other leg to his hip reminded him of other tastes he had wanted to explore so he continued up her leg to her very center. Felicity was moving her hips restlessly so Oliver clasped a hand on either side and lifted her to meet his mouth. The wet heat that welcomed him allowed him to bring the very essence of Felicity into himself. At that moment, every sense was engaged fully and all his impressions of this beautiful woman instantly crystalized into a single perfect image of night. He felt free and alive with her.

He felt and heard the rasp of Felicity's nail along his scalp as he continued to explore her taste. He inhaled deeply and was gratified that the scent was simply Felicity and not the spicy lotion he enjoyed earlier. He heard as her low throaty moan was cut short as she gasped for breath. Oliver could feel the tightening in her body and pushed his tongue into her just in time to feel the trembling release begin. He continued to swirl his tongue in and around her even as he lowered her back to the couch. Felicity's legs relaxed on either side of his head even as he felt the tense quiver of his own muscles tightening in anticipation.

Oliver pulled Felicity into his arms as he stood and she quickly locked her ankles behind him. For a moment Oliver was distracted by the sound of his own blood rushing in his ears but the feel of a warm, sated and yet still excited Felicity Smoak quickly captured his attention again.

Again the woman in his arms proved to be both a distraction and his only focus. He wasn't sure how they made it to the bed in the other room but he did relish their heated kisses, the tightening of her thighs around him and the push of her breasts into his chest.

Oliver gently lowered them both to the bed. Again this was not planned seduction or simple sex but instead in immersion of his senses and his being into the woman currently beneath him. Oliver was desperate to feel her heat but couldn't help but react as she pushed at his shoulders. He pulled back and not only saw but correctly interpreted her smile on her face. With a cocky grin of his own, Oliver quickly flipped their position and groaned at the sensation of Felicity settling and stretching fully on top of him. Closing his eyes, Oliver took a moment to savor Felicity, savor this moment with his entire being. He listened to her quick breaths and unconsciously timed his to meet hers. With her lips tracing the tendon at his neck he could just barely find the scent of her lotion even as he longed to smell just Felicity. He felt Felicity shift her weight to sit up fully and straddle his hips. His eyes opened even as his hands move to grasp her hips on their own volition but he stopped short of adjusting her position to enter her. Instead he closed his eyes again and followed the gentle fingers tracing his scars and tattoos, each touch precise and deliberate. Soft lips soon followed that path although they did veer off the path to flick teasingly as his nipples. He heard and felt Felicity's husky laughter as he growled at the contact. Oliver tensed his body in preparation to again flip them but Felicity suddenly changed her position to slide off to one side.

Oliver jerked up quickly to protest but the touch of her hand on his chest and her slow smile as she flicked her tongue across her lips immediately stopped his motion. He laid back but didn't close his eyes as Felicity mirrored his earlier position and moved between his knees as she brought her eyes to meet his. Maintaining eye contact, Felicity smiled again and slowly inched forward until her tongue again flicked out. This time her target was his body and his hips arched at the brief contact. Oliver watched as she waited just a second longer before sliding her mouth fully onto him. He barely felt the hands Felicity placed at his hips as he was overwhelmed by the warmth of her mouth and her clever tongue as it continued to flick and wrap around him.

The dark of night fully enveloped Oliver then and his senses raged out of his control. He didn't process the fact that he had pulled Felicity off and rolled them over until he heard her throaty laugh. He was able to pause for a moment to meet her eyes and the deliciously satisfied smirk along with the flushed skin and dilated pupils were sufficient focal points to slow him down. He bent his head to kiss the smirk off her lips even as he positioned himself to slide easily into her body. At Felicity's gasp he smirked a bit himself before giving in to the need to pull out and thrust again as Felicity wrapped her legs around his hips and met each thrust.

Again the night pulled at Oliver and he felt the need not to suppress his senses or instincts but instead to release them. He leaned into Felicity to give voice to these feelings and needs with a steamy kiss and he was thrilled that Felicity met him completely. Together they let the night pulled them both into the dark intimacy of shared freedom and life: muscles quivered with each movement, breath came fast and hard, touches were more frantic, lips more demanding until finally release pulsed through both their bodies.

Oliver collapsed onto Felicity for a moment before pulling back to rest on his forearms and take some of his weight off her. He dropped his forehead to hers as both struggled to bring in sufficient oxygen. Oliver closed his eyes to again savor this woman, this moment. He focused on her quick breaths even as he shared her air. He felt her hands return to hug his back even as her legs remained lax along his own. Now the scent in the air was one of them both, unique and very appealing.

Just as he had found her calming and exhilarating in the office, Oliver now found her soothing and arousing, sweet and sexy, giving and demanding. And just as the night, she became his place of peace and life and the one place he could be fully and wholly himself.


	2. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just continuing on as Oliver explores his senses and instincts with Felicity! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: Still no legal claim for me as the CW's Arrow certainly belongs to others!

Oliver was already focused on Felicity even though he wasn't near her and had, in fact, been away from her all morning in meetings. One of the potential companies QC might invest in had a logo of a full moon in the night sky and once he had seen that Oliver's focus remained divided between the meeting and his nighttime images of Felicity. When he had first met Felicity he had thought she was as bright as the sun and he knew that with his scars he would never deserve to be in her light. He also knew that her light could burn him and he accepted that he needed to keep a distance even as he continued to be pulled in orbit around her. It was obvious to him that that's how others saw her as well - the blond hair, quick smile, bright colors from her lips to her toenails all brought images of the sun to mind. However, as he focused on Felicity he soon realized she was more like the moon. Certainly the moon is a bright reflection of the sun's light but much more complex, subtle and mysterious. The moon reigns supreme in the night sky but it was comfortable sharing its light with the shadows. Oliver gloried in the fact that others overlooked this knowledge of his amazing woman. He was glad that he was the one who she chose to share herself with at night.

As the last meeting ended, Oliver was finally on his way to Felicity and he had to suppress the darker passion raging inside him. He knew as it was the memories and not the flesh and blood woman arousing him he would need to get control of himself before he saw her in person or he would be lost. While Felicity was willingly and enthusiastically sharing herself with him at night, she had quickly established that the domains of both QC and the lair were off-limits during working hours. Both knew their public personas could not be together right now while there was still so much work for the Arrow to do. However, knowledge didn't always bring acceptance and Oliver found he was usually the one challenging those boundaries. As always, Felicity brought out conflicting emotions as he did want to protect her from the public scrutiny that becoming CEO Oliver Queen's girlfriend would bring but he also wanted nothing more than to claim this woman as his before all the world.

At least he was now on his way to her and that always presented a delightful feast for his senses – always soothing and arousing. He would be able to determine if the scent of the bath soap from their shared shower this morning still lingered on her skin. He would be able to skim his hand along her arm and feel the satiny material of her blouse even if he couldn't indulge in skin to skin contact. He would be able to hear her breath catch when he stepped into her personal space. Oliver unconsciously quickened his step even as desire quickened his pulse. The prospect of erasing the tension and drudgery of the morning meetings by being close to Felicity pulled at every sense.

Unfortunately, a few board members had managed to catch up to him and Oliver stopped at the sound of his name. Swallowing with difficulty before taking a deep breath, Oliver turned and pasted on his polite CEO smile. He was able to respond accordingly and even used some of the numbers Felicity had provided in his materials for the proposal. Both board members accepted his view but did request a follow-up meeting. Despite his smile never entering his eyes, he easily agreed and promised to have his assistant arrange it. As both men accepted this, Oliver assumed he seemed somewhat believable.

As Oliver had spent the morning in meetings this impromptu one in hall had only served to rub his already raw nerves and the tension rippled through his mind and body. He had gotten better at handling his public persona and he knew he owed that to Felicity and Diggle. Upon returning from the Island, he had intended to keep himself separate not only from people but also from that public persona. However, his friends made it clear that it freaked them out his friends whenever he spoke of himself in the third person. Without that distancing tool and with both Felicity and Diggle so firmly entrenched in all aspects of his life he found parts of public Oliver and the Arrow (who was simply Island Oliver at work in an urban jungle with new enemies) blending into a new entity, Oliver. Only he, Felicity and Diggle were getting to know this new person and, in truth, Oliver often felt his friends knew him better than he himself did or at least understood him better. He still felt the conflicting pull of both personas but at least he no longer felt he was being pulled completely apart by them. He felt he could find similarities now even as he had better control of and appreciation of the differences. Felicity once asked what he thought would happen if he was able to merge all aspects of himself but he couldn't give her an answer. Only later would Oliver realize that he was able to pull all aspects of himself together in light of an unexpected danger.

The sight that greeted Oliver when he exited the elevator stopped him in his tracks.

A young man sat not in the chair by Felicity's desk but on her desk. Both he and Felicity were laughing and Felicity even placed a hang on the man's knee as she threw her head back to laugh out loud. Oliver unconsciously did his normal scan of Felicity – happy smile, light laughter, slight head tilt away from the threat, pink lipstick untouched. That took less than a second and didn't actually penetrate his conscious thoughts which were completely dedicated to the other person in the room.

Oliver quickly sized him up as a man and as a danger. Medium build: 5' 10", 180 lbs, brown hair and eyes, IT geek attire from a department store, running shoes double knotted. Felicity had just noticed Oliver and stood to greet him which prompted her visitor to stand as well. Oliver noted he stayed near Felicity but was not touching her. He also noted the man met his eyes with a bland expression before something of a challenge entered his eyes. The mystery man shifted his weight slightly and adjusted his stance just a few inches away from Felicity as placed his weight on his lead foot.

He knew Felicity would not appreciate the Arrow removing the man from her office and certainly not from this world. Oliver also ruefully acknowledged that any type of caveman claiming would be frowned upon even if he itched to engage in the fight his opponent's stance encouraged. While he couldn't claim her as his lover publicly, he had other tools at his disposal to undermine the challenger and send him quickly on his way. Oliver actually smirked his CEO smile but did not adjust his own neutral stance even if he did drop his center to signal he recognized the challenge.

"Ms. Smoak, the meetings went well but I'll need your help with the follow-up. I was thinking a working lunch at your favorite restaurant." Oliver wielded his public persona like a sword now as he needed to separate this danger from Felicity. He also simply didn't appreciate having an interloper in his personal space and he considered Felicity his personal space. He needed to assert some type of claim and their public personas offered just the excuse he needed.

Felicity must have felt the charge in the room because Oliver watched as she did her own scan of him, gauging his mood and intention. She also moved toward him and away from the other man which as typically happened when he was around Felicity, both soothed and aroused him. Oliver had to return his focus to the mystery man as Felicity made the introduction.

"Mr. Queen, this is Kyle Martin. I used to work in IT with him." Felicity paused to direct a smile at the man which Oliver noted in his peripheral vision. "Kyle, Oliver Queen."

As he intentionally leaned over Felicity to offer a hand Oliver noted the slight scent of men's cologne on her, Hugo by Hugo Boss if he wasn't mistaken. Barely stifling a growl, he shifted his weight to actually bump into Felicity forcing her to stumble back. This meant he could politely withdraw his offered hand before the man made contact in order to steady her. Only Felicity and he were aware that he didn't maintain the proper arm's length distance but Oliver didn't care as Mr. IT was at his back. Oliver's movement was deliberate and served a two-fold purpose: It allowed him to insult the man by demonstrating Oliver didn't see him as a threat and it also allowed Oliver a moment to hold Felicity close. Of course, now he wanted nothing more than to pull her in closer and remove all evidence of the man's cologne on her.

Felicity was learning to read him even as he was learning to read her and unlike most people she was quite skilled at it. She also used the shield of his body effectively as Oliver knew she wouldn't have raised a single brow quizzically if her face was visible to their unwanted guest. He simply met her eyes blandly so as not to give away all his secrets but that only served to make her roll her eyes then suddenly grin rather mischievously. Oliver tugged her forward just a bit closer and noted the resulting hitch in her breathing even as her pupils dilated. Unfortunately, he also noted her quick frown and felt the foot she stomped onto his.

"My apologies, Mr. Queen. I'm just such a klutz sometimes." Oliver knew Felicity could use her public persona just as well as he could but still couldn't help the quick grin in appreciation. Despite always working to solve the mystery of Felicity Smoak, she still constantly surprised him.

Oliver had always appreciated her desire to challenge him both on QC and Arrow business but he was quickly becoming addicted to her desire to challenge him personally. While it was easy to ignore the challenge of the IT guy, Oliver found himself eager to accept any challenge issued by Felicity and winked to show his interest.

As Felicity narrowed her eyes slightly at him before moving to step around him, Oliver intercepted the movement and turned so she ended up beside him and not between him and the other one. He knew not to press his luck by actually touching Felicity but he did ensure his body was close enough that he could feel the heat of hers. Just that connection immediately eased his aggravation with the trespasser even as it heated his blood.

Oliver stood patiently but barely listened as Felicity proceeded to politely end her conversation. He understood enough to know that Felicity was providing some IT advice which simply reiterated to him that this intruder was insignificant and not the danger he originally believed. Oliver was even able to play CEO and offer good luck to the kid even as he watched his departure with a barely suppressed laugh. Felicity's sharp elbow to his ribs turned the potential laugh into a grunt.

"You and me – now." Felicity stated harshly. 

Even as Oliver processed her anger in both her tone and the angry click of her heels along the floor to their bathroom suite he found himself more focused on the sway of her hips in the flowing skirt. Oliver had barely passed the threshold of the only room with actual walls before Felicity pushed him out of the way to slam the door. The gentle brush of her silky sleeve along his hand fractured Oliver's concentration and pushed his senses further into overdrive. The fact that Felicity then turned and pushed him against the wall further wrecked his focus as he noted her bright eyes, flushed cheeks and rapid breathing. The fact that it was anger and not passion did little to help him focus; therefore, it took a moment for Felicity's rant to penetrate the sensual fog surrounding his brain.

"—I am not a play thing for CEO Oliver Queen that slept her way into a promotion! We are partners – equal partners, Oliver! You do not get to dismiss anyone I choose to have around me. You do not have the right to treat me as property! I deserve your respect and your trust…how can you not trust me?" Felicity's voice broke on the last sentence and her angry rant ended on a whisper which allowed Oliver a glimpse into her true feelings.

He stepped closer to her but did not physically touch her as he needed them both focused on what he had to say. "Felicity, I trust you with my life. I trust you with everything inside me. Always." Oliver's words were soft and he kept his eyes on Felicity pleading with her to believe him.

"Then why did you get so jealous about him being near me? I know you are protective and I appreciate that in the Arrow world but this is QC and Kyle wasn't a threat." Felicity was still whispering but her voice was now steady, inquisitive.

"Because his scent was on you." Oliver knew the moment the words were out of his mouth that it was the wrong thing to say. He knew it would only serve to reinforce Felicity's belief that he viewed her as property instead of a respected, treasured partner. While Felicity had experienced some of his preoccupation with sensory overload he didn't think she fully understood so he was sure she would misinterpret his statement. As Oliver wasn't sure he wanted her to fully understand just how primal his responses were to her sometimes he didn't speak further to clarify. Oliver just closed his eyes in anticipation of her response but once again Felicity surprised him.

"So let's change that." Felicity's soft words reached Oliver even as he felt her body align and push into his. "And afterwards you can explain to me just how you use your senses." 

Oliver barely processed the words as his eyes had snapped open at her first statement and his senses were, in fact, completely focused on the heat and pressure of Felicity's soft body against his. He froze for a moment but the feel of Felicity's teeth tugging on his ear broke the control he had been exerting all morning. Oliver exploded away from the wall and turned to press Felicity against it instead.

Much like their very first time together Oliver's senses were outside of his control even as they were bombarded with input. Later he would only be able to remember a montage of sensations – the taste of Felicity's iced mocha on her lips, the momentary binding of his arms as Felicity quickly pushed his jacket off, the pop of buttons landing on the tiled floor as he was too impatient and wanted immediate contact with Felicity's soft skin, the additional stimulation of Felicity's lacy bra brushing against his chest as he got the much needed contact, the sound of his zipper being lowered before he felt Felicity's warm fingers encircle him, his own dark growl of appreciation as he pushed her skirt up and discovered there was no other material restricting his access to her body, her hiss of frustration as he pinned her arms overhead as it then changed into a loan moan as he surged into her, the hot wet clench of Felicity's body as she tightened to lock her legs more firmly around his hips, the sharp bite of Felicity's teeth on his shoulder as he pulled out of her then plunged back in, the quickening thud of Felicity's back against the door that accentuated the age old rhythm as they came together, the rippling spasms of Felicity's release gripped him even tighter and forced him over the edge quickly after her.

As was his new and favorite custom, Oliver dropped his forehead to hers as both struggled to bring in sufficient oxygen. Oliver closed his eyes to again savor this woman, this moment. He focused on her quick breaths even as he shared her air. He felt her hands drift to his face then shoulders as he released them from his tight grip over her head. He felt her skirt float down as her legs found the floor again. Now the scent in the air was one of them both and while still unique and very appealing it was also familiar and welcoming.

Oliver pulled back a mere inch to meet Felicity's eyes. He noted with surprise the tenderness in her gaze as this explosive union had certainly been one of their more frantic ones and had taken place during business hours at the office. Oliver didn't realize that his own expression was equally soft and tender.

The phone in Oliver's jacket started ringing with the ring tone they both recognized as Diggle's. Oliver shot a quick glance toward his jacket that was equal parts relief and frustration. He then met Felicity's eyes again and lightly kissed her lips even as he pulled away.

Felicity stopped him by using both hands to grip the edges of his open shirt and pulling him back against her. "Don't think this means we aren't going to talk about this, Oliver Queen."


	3. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Oliver's version of talking...and I have to admit that this is one of my own favorite chapters for this more "primal" Oliver! :)

Oliver knew Felicity wasn't going to forget that they needed to "talk" which he was sure meant that despite enjoying having sex with him she would not want to pursue anything else considering…well, everything else. Oliver issued a soft sigh that was easily masked by the clang of the salmon ladder. He had been pushing himself through a punishing routine of push-ups, sit-ups, climbing the salmon ladder as well as beating up one of the dummies with the metal baton for over an hour now. He would like to hear the slice of an arrow through the air but knew his focus wasn't sufficient to control either enjoy the exercise or sharpen his skill.

His scent was on you, His scent was on you…Oliver's own words continued to reverberate through his mind in some perverse twist of a meditative mantra as it only served to agitate instead of relax him. He hadn't looked at Felicity when he'd said the words so he wasn't sure what prompted her incredibly warm reception of him afterwards. He hoped it wasn't pity or even some attempt to heal him – he didn't think he was a hero but he didn't want cast into the role of wounded hero either.

Despite his recent progress in controlling his senses and merging his personas, Oliver knew there was a lot Felicity didn't understand about who he was on the island and what he kept with him even now. He knew he would eventually get to that invisible line in the sand when even the remarkable Felicity Smoak would have to turn her back to him…as he didn't think he would survive that he wanted to delay the inevitable as long as possible.

He had long ago accepted his place in the dark of night but being with Felicity had been an unexpected respite which he treasured and had quickly become addicted to even against his better judgment. He had never been so foolish as to believe she would stay with him forever as she deserved much more than being CEO Oliver Queen's EA, more than being the Arrow's partner and much more than being his lover.

Oliver took a break to grab water just as Diggle entered the lair. Diggle's call yesterday had forced a recon mission that didn't end until late in the night. Diggle had taken Felicity home and Oliver had stayed to train despite Felicity's protests. Oliver wasn't too proud to admit that he was glad for the delay in their conversation. However, he hadn't slept well without her and had barely restrained his urge to sneak into her apartment. The restless night was the reason he was back in the lair so early and he had hoped another workout would return his somewhat tenuous equilibrium so he could face Felicity more calmly.

"Thought you might be here. Anything new on the case…or are you here for personal reasons?"

Oliver met his friend's eyes but offered no other response. He simply finished his water and stepped back toward the training dummy.

"Oliver." Diggle's stern voice stopped him but Oliver couldn't bring himself to turn to face him. "Felicity didn't talk to me last night but clearly she's upset about something. You don't have to talk to me either but you need to talk to her, you need to fix this."

"I will take care of her." Oliver knew Diggle couldn't possibly understand the depth of his sentiment. However, Diggle had agreed with Oliver at the beginning as they knew they needed to protect Felicity and that was all Oliver was trying to do. A small voice of doubt crept into his mind and forced him to question whether he was protecting Felicity or protecting himself.

As it was time to handle their day jobs, Oliver quickly showered and rode with Diggle to QC. Felicity was in EA mode when they arrived and there were already stacks of papers on both of their desks. Oliver took a moment to watch her movements and wasn't surprised when she turned suddenly as if she knew he was there. Despite yesterday's activities Felicity honored her usual workplace boundaries and did little more than squeeze his arm and briefly lean into him slightly closer than acceptable in public as she told him about his schedule. Oliver relished every moment and fought to heed her words as his senses were filled with her presence – turquoise silk blouse, black pencil skirt, bright pink lips and nails, slightly puffy eyes, light clean soapy scent, no noticeable trace of body lotion and a sad smile.

The day passed quickly but Oliver continued to feel the strain of his senses and instincts – he wanted to protect Felicity even as he wanted to claim her. Just these weeks of having Felicity had made it much harder to restrain himself in her presence and that was when he was able to spend the night with her which wasn't the case last night. Even his normal habit of focusing on Felicity to calm himself provided little respite as he could see how their stalemate was wearing on her as well. It was seeing the slight downward curve of her shoulders as she lowered her head that forced Oliver's hand.

"Most of the work is done – let's head to the lair." Oliver's voice was harsher than he intended and Felicity jumped slightly in surprise.

"Oh, ok – I just need to close this out and transfer the info to my tablet. 5 minutes." Felicity's voice was bland but as she bit her lip afterwards Oliver knew that tone had cost her and felt the burden of hurting her.

The ride was silent and tense as Diggle planned to simply drop them off without joining them. Much like their first time together, Diggle and Oliver had exited the vehicle first and after a quick scan they exchanged a look before Felicity joined them. Diggle didn't voice his concern but he did spear Oliver with an intense frown before he got in the vehicle without another word.

The pair was silent and tense as they walked through the club and continued down the lair. Oliver was assaulted with memories of their very first night together and they felt even stronger as he had missed Felicity last night. His fist clenched involuntarily around the metal railing along the stairs. The cold metal helped ground him even as he fought to ignore the other sensory information fighting for his attention as Felicity paused behind him as well.

"I know you want me to talk more about the Island Felicity but I…the Island was about survival. There were a lot of dangers—" Oliver's words started without conscious thought but he quickly ended the ramble and sought control, a strategy, anything that would help him.

Even without super hearing, Oliver knew Felicity would hear the hard snap of his jaw as it closed hard. He expected her to be annoyed with his reticence him but she touched him softly and spoken earnestly.

"I've seen your body Oliver so I know there are physical scars. And I know you so I know there are other scars as well. I'm not trying to push you into revealing every detail, in fact, we can skip the how and you can just tell me how you use your skills now."

"Skills?" Oliver was actually confused and distracted by that.

"Yeah – ninja skills that allow you to basically see in the dark, pick up more scents than a bloodhound, fearlessly patrol the city from the rooftops – ninja skills. I assume they probably help with the whole Tarzan thing you've got going on too though! Basically you seem to know a lot more than the rest of us and I think that goes under the heading of skilled even if you can't include it on your resume. Ok, how about you talk now?" Felicity ended her own ramble more abruptly than normal.

"Skills of a predator, Felicity. Primitive skills that put you in danger." Oliver's head dropped as he issued that judgment.

"What? Oliver, no! Skills you use as the Arrow to bring good to the city…"Felicity paused briefly before she stepped forward to place a hand on his arm and continued , "Skills I greatly appreciate in the bedroom…the shower, the lair, the wall."

Even as Oliver's lips quirked in amusement, heat enter his eyes. He assumed Felicity read his eyes as she took a quick step back before she reminded them both. "Skills you can demonstrate later…for now, we need to talk about this, Oliver."

Once again Oliver battled relief and annoyance as his phone again rang with Diggle's ringtone. He held Felicity's eyes a moment longer before he answered gruffly. He was forced to listen intently as Diggle advised that Lance was in trouble nearby. Oliver wasn't sure if Felicity read his response or could hear the phone but she moved to her computers and started opening the basic surveillance programs they had in place. Oliver repeated the location from Diggle as he went to stand behind her and placed one hand on her shoulder. Felicity's scent seeped into his pores even as he split his attention between Diggle's words and the camera feeds now on Felicity's monitors.

"On my way – see you there." Oliver ended the call and squeezed Felicity's shoulder before he stepped away to change clothes and grab weapons. As he grabbed his bow, Felicity provided a quick update over the noise of the police scanner in the background.

"You should have roof access from the building behind but the police are moving in."

Oliver nodded and turned to leave before suddenly changing course. He strode quickly over to Felicity and pulled her roughly from the chair. He had missed her all day and needed to pull her into him even if he found it soothing and arousing as usual. He was grateful when her arms closed around him and she buried her head into his neck. The couple stayed there for a moment and Oliver closed his eyes to savor the sensations he shared with Felicity and the night – life and freedom. Oliver reluctantly pulled away but quickly dipped his head to claim Felicity's lips for a quick, hot open mouthed kiss. As he couldn't risk staying longer, Oliver bolted toward the door without another look back.

After meeting up with Diggle, Oliver moved in place at a nearby rooftop. Fortunately only a few well-placed arrows were needed to protect Lance before the police rescued him. Diggle offered him a ride back but Oliver not only welcomed the opportunity to spend time in the night but was, in fact, desperate to lose himself in it.

Choosing an intentionally difficult path back, Oliver sought the freedom of physical activity to ease his tension and free his thoughts. His path included several rooftops even if they were not located close enough for easy jumping. He also pushed himself to scale the walls and fire escapes at full speed and bounced quickly between buildings even if though there was quarry to chase. As he continued Oliver felt the pulse of blood heating his muscles as he worked them. He felt the easing of his tension so the point that he could actually take a few deep, full breaths of the night air with ease. Fully extending his body for a final jump Oliver enjoyed the freedom of soaring through the night air before landing lightly on the club's roof. He did take a single extra moment to raise his gaze to the moon before he made his way down to Felicity.

As usual, the night had released some of his customary restrictions and the exhilaration coursing through his body suddenly focused on Felicity. Oliver now found he relished the opportunity to be with her right now…and if it was the last time then he was determined to show her a brief glimpse of his night. He closed his eyes briefly as he took a deep breath and pushed through the door with his bow in his hand. He took each step slowly as he felt anticipation of this particular battle heat his blood even more.  


Oliver paused at the foot of the stairs and locked his gaze on Felicity's approach. He saw her eyes drift down to scan his body as she always did whenever he returned from any mission. He did the same and noted with interest that her glasses were pushed all the way up, an extra button was undone on her blouse probably because of her nervous tugs as she awaited his safe return…Oliver's eyes lingered as he traced the barely discernible outline of her bra underneath. In his mind's eye, he quickly analyzed the pattern until he matched it with a bra he remembered – a lacy leopard print one with a front clasp.

Felicity's impatient foot tapping penetrated his sensual haze and brought his gaze back to hers but only after he completed his scan. Their gazes crashed together – Felicity's mostly angry and Oliver's heated with passion that he did nothing to conceal.  


Oliver moved slowly toward Felicity and kept his eyes locked on her even though neither had spoken a word. He wasn't sure what purpose it served strategically but he felt the instinctive urge to share his senses with her and bring her further into his night as he claimed her as his own.

"You said I can just tell you now I use my…senses, right?" Oliver waited until Felicity nodded and then started slowly toward her. As she took a few steps back he continued to stalk her intently. Felicity's breathy gasp as she put a hand out to stop him garnered some attention even as Oliver noted the heat quickly entering her eyes. He used her extended hand to her around so her back was pressed into his chest.

"Let me show you Felicity…" Oliver's voice was a near growl and he uttered that plea softly into Felicity's ear. Oliver felt Felicity's shiver and couldn't resist a quick nibble on her ear lobe before he nuzzled her neck. "Close your eyes."

"Oliver!" Felicity's voice was both plaintive and demanding. "I thought we were going to talk." Oliver could only assume she felt the need to punish him for not speaking as she wriggled her hips in a way that made words difficult.

He ground his teeth almost violently even as he tightened his arms around her to prevent any further movement. He took a moment to swallow heavily before he continued. He brought one hand up to rest lightly near her heart. Oliver felt a moment of panic when Felicity placed her hand over his but instead of stopping him she simply interlaced their fingers.

"I am going to talk. Close your eyes and listen to my voice." Oliver couldn't help that his voice was deep and gravelly but Felicity only nodded in agreement.

"Close your eyes." Oliver repeated the instruction even as he closed his as well. "Breathe with me, Felicity. Let the air fill your lungs – breathe in…..breathe out." The pair breathed in synch for several moments before he continued.

Oliver dropped his head back to Felicity's neck to nuzzle lightly and even though she tilted her own to give him better access he resisted the urge to kiss her.

"Here, when I breathe in I can smell your lotion…you used the herbal one, right?" Oliver kept his eyes closed but could hear and feel Felicity's response.

"Hmmm" Felicity nodded along with her humming agreement.

"The scent is strongest at your pulse points…" Oliver placed a light kiss at the fluttering pulse at Felicity's neck. "At every pulse point…" His voice again trailed off as he brought their joined hands to rest at the edge of her bra between her breasts before curling his fingers and tugging lightly at her bra as he unclasped it.

"Feel the silk rasp against your skin?" As he asked that question, Oliver released his grip and allowed the bra to fall open under her blouse. Felicity gasped and arched her back in response.

He raised their hands up slightly and pushed her back into him. Then despite the addition of Felicity's fingers he managed to unbutton her blouse quickly enough. He used their hands on Felicity's stomach to keep the blouse together even as he rubbed light circles on there. He felt the hitch in her breathing even as he stepped to press more tightly along her back. He again nuzzled her neck as he continued his instructions.

"Hear your breathing now, Felicity – harsh, quick pants in and out." Felicity was panting erratically through her slightly opened mouth now. Oliver was likewise affected and didn't even attempt to regulate his breathing as he asked her, "Can you feel my breath against your skin?"

"Can you feel the heat of my body too, Felicity?" Oliver growled the question as he felt Felicity practically melt into him. Bracing her with their joined hands at her stomach, Oliver eased slightly back as Felicity mewled softly in protest. He quickly pressed back into her body but not before he had used his free hand to unzip her skirt and push it over her hips even as she wriggled helpfully. The skirt pooled at her feet and Oliver stepped her forward and out of it.

"So we have one sense left unexplored…taste." Oliver's voice was roughened by desire as he slid their joined hands underneath her panties. He used both his hand to cup Felicity even as he brushed her own finger against her center. Oliver was forced to hold his breath as he knew he couldn't handle the scent of Felicity's arousal as he used her own fingers to brush against the searing heat and wetness of her center. His groan blended with Felicity's moan as he continued to brush their fingers lightly against her. Oliver's groan became more of a growl of frustration as he forced himself to refuse Felicity's silent invitation to enter as she rolled her hips and eased her legs further apart. Instead he carefully pulled their hands from her and trailed them lightly up her body leaving a line of moisture in their wake.

As they reached her breasts Oliver shifted their hands so they could continue up to cup her face. He used his index finger to trace Felicity's lips but waited until her tongue flicked out to push his finger into her mouth. Felicity's lips closed tightly around his index finger and started sucking lightly even as her tongue flicked and twirled.

At her humming moan, Oliver ground his hips against her and snaked his free hand back under her panties. Felicity paused at the contact before biting down on his finger forcing Oliver's mouth open as he sucked in much needed air. The scent of Felicity's arousal assailed him and he plunged two fingers into her welcoming warmth.

Felicity's mouth opened on a soft cry as that sudden stimulation pushed her over the edge. Using Felicity's nearly boneless body to his advantage, Oliver scooped her up and moved quickly to the bed in the back. Felicity's body remained relaxed even as her gaze heatedly followed his movements as he quickly undressed. He slowly eased himself over her with his weight on his arms and met her eyes before lowering his forehead to hers. Their breaths mingled as he paused before giving her more words.

"I use my senses to know you Felicity. I use them to savor your scent, your taste, the feel of you under me, surrounding me." Oliver raised his head slightly to meet her eyes before he eased into her body. "Like moonlight on the darkest night." Oliver breathed those words softly against Felicity's lips as he kissed her.

They found a surprisingly languid rhythm for their passion and Oliver felt Felicity coming to life around him. He savored each gasping breath, each roll of her hips and arch of her back, even the darkening of her eyes as they reached the pinnacle together and he again soared through the night.


	4. Felicity (the morning after)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Felicity's POV of the last chapter! My apologies for not posting sooner but I actually thought I had already posted this one completely!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I couldn't get Oliver to talk last chapter, Felicity was a bit more willing! Here's her POV including a flashback to the morning after! BTW, no smut this time guys (sorry)!
> 
> BTW, this was originally posted on FF but has since been voluntarily removed for adult contact! Also this was written before I had beta assistance so pls ignore the mistakes!!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Definitely not my toys and I'm definitely not using them as they were intended (well, I would argue that I am but oh well)!

_SUNDAY MID-MORNING_

Felicity's nose wrinkled as she smelled the next bottle of soap. "Ewww, what ocean did that breeze come from…yuck!" Quickly replacing the bottle, Felicity took a few more steps and picked up Sensual Amber. "Ahh, now that one's nice." Felicity almost missed her basket as the chipper sales girl approached again and spoke.

"That is a nice scent and we have it available in the full line – shower scrubs, bath salts, lotions, hand soap, candles—"

"I'm pretty sure that would kill him." Felicity mumbled under her breath before continuing in a louder voice when the sales girl looked at her strangely. "I'm sure that would be great but I'm really looking for more of a sampler platter approach. Small amounts of a variety of things, you know?"

"Of course, we have trial sizes in everything as well and those are 50% off today only. There's a table in the back that I'll be happy to take you to if you'll just follow me."

Felicity rolled her eyes but did follow accordingly as she needed to get this shopping done so she was prepared for tomorrow morning – it would be the first time she'd seen Oliver since the disaster of yesterday morning. Fortunately, the sales girl's Vanna White impersonation to display the table of products pulled Felicity back to the present and allowed her to focus on her plan. Felicity immediately starting grabbing the small bottles and while some should be considered a weapon of mass destruction some scents were actually subtle, pleasant and just what she had in mind to implement her recent decisions about Oliver.

**_FLASHBACK TO SATURDAY MORNING_ **

Felicity woke up in bed alone and started to stretch luxuriously until her muscles screamed in protest. She smiled to herself even as she groaned in pain as the reason for the pain was a night spent in bed with Oliver Queen. Felicity glanced around the lair bedroom but didn't really expect to see Oliver. In the many weeks they had been lovers, she found he truly slept little and was rarely there when she woke. Usually he would reappear as if by magic as soon as she was awake and more times than not he brought breakfast with him.

Felicity continued to smile to herself as she thought about Oliver and just how much he had shared with her last night about not just his senses but her own. No, they really hadn't talked but Felicity knew Oliver operated better with actions – luckily she knew she talked enough for the both of them! Besides, she could try to work in a little conversation this morning over breakfast in bed.

Not to mention that it was hard to find fault with Oliver's choices to communicate his feelings to her. While both jealous Oliver and even this more primal Oliver might flout the rules of traditional feminism, Felicity found she really couldn't complain about such a hot, strong guy wanting to lay claim to her...especially when his methods were so sensual. Felicity's husky laugh at the word play though soft was clearly indicative that mere thoughts of Oliver could get her hot and bothered. Had he entered right then Felicity would have been more than happy to express her own feelings with actions.

However, the unmistakable sound of the salmon bar startled Felicity out of her reverie. It was unusual for Oliver to be working out the morning after… _My God, how does he have the energy_? Felicity pondered Oliver's stamina for a moment before realizing something must be wrong for him to break their tradition of breakfast.

Felicity jumped from the bed and quickly pulled clothes from the cabinet. While each kept spares here, with the changes of the past month Felicity had expanded her own wardrobe options to include not just workout and casual clothes but also office attire and even sleep sets.

"Oliver?" Felicity called even before she made it into the open area. She could hear the panic in her voice but couldn't help the concern. Problems for the Arrow were rarely normal concerns so Felicity felt her fears were warranted.

She quickly found Oliver and watched as he continued to calmly climb the salmon bar even though Felicity knew he could hear her. Her panic grew as Oliver dropped soundlessly to the floor but didn't immediately walk to her or even turn her way.

"Oliver?" Felicity questioned again as she walked toward him. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Oliver spun around suddenly just as Felicity was about to place a hand on his back. Felicity watched as his eyes did his usual visual scan of her and waited for him to meet her eyes. However, when she finally met his gaze she was shocked to see a blank, impassive expression that he usually only wore in public.

"I'm sorry Felicity."

Oliver's words barely reached her ears and did nothing to reassure her. "Sorry? For what? What's happened Oliver?"

"I meant to leave before you woke up. I'll just grab by gear and go."

And with those cryptic words, Felicity watched in shock as Oliver did turn to leave without meeting her eyes again. As she reached out to grab his arm, she was even more surprised when he spun away from her with a low angry hiss then continued to the back bedroom.

Felicity dropped heavily into a nearby chair. She desperately wanted to understand what just happened but her brain without caffeine seemed incapable of putting the pieces of the puzzle together. She ran through last night's events in her mind and tried not to get distracted by those erotic memories even as she felt a flush heat her face. She had finally fallen asleep in Oliver's arms early this morning and then awoke to this… _pod person Oliver_.

Felicity's confusion was rapidly being replaced with angry and she took a few angry steps toward the back bedroom herself when she heard the shower start. _He's taking time for a shower?!_ Felicity saw red and quickened her stride to interrupt him…until memories of the last time she had interrupted his shower sprang to mind and Felicity faltered.

Taking a few deep breaths, Felicity tried to release both the passion and the anger and focus on the problem at hand – pod person Oliver. She paced the room restlessly as she tried to replay the less naughty portions of the night in order to decipher the reason for Oliver's transformation. Oliver Queen was a master at hiding behind a variety of masks but Felicity considered herself one of the few masters well-educated in understanding him.

"If only he'd talk to me." Felicity mumbled to herself as she remembered she had started the night with the expectation of just talking to Oliver. She knew a bit about his heightened senses but was curious to understand more even as she recognized his obvious reluctance to discuss it. Most of the Island experience was off-limits and Felicity respected those boundaries but she considered the senses to be in the present tense and really thought he would be willing to talk. _His demonstration was nothing short of amazing_ , Felicity thought and tried to stop her body's immediate and heated response to those thoughts.

Oliver chose that exact moment to return to the room and Felicity noticed he was fully dressed as opposed to his normal shirtless look for the lair. Felicity watched as he briefly looked her way before he continued passed her leaving several feet of extra space between them.

"Oliver, we need to talk. I don't know what happened last night—" Felicity had to push again but wasn't surprised when Oliver interrupted even if his words stunned her.

"I know you don't understand and I don't expect you to so there's no reason to talk about this more. I have already apologized. Would you like me to so do so again?"

It took a moment for Felicity to register and process that impassive CEO expression Oliver wore but when she did Felicity exploded in anger. A red haze again blinded her even as the memory of Oliver's voice in her ears directing her breath caused Felicity to gasp. In that single instant her anger morphed into passion and she launched herself at Oliver.

Felicity barely noted the details of their embrace and only later recalled that Oliver returned it enthusiastically. The kiss quickly escalated until Oliver broke it off to allow them both much needed oxygen. That momentary break was an unfortunate wake-up call for Felicity. She pulled back completely as she tried to calm her breathing. She stared at Oliver and noted the look of defeat and even guilt flash before his mask of indifference returned. As he moved further away from her, Felicity's anger again overwhelmed and controlled her.

"So what then? We never talk again but sex is ok? Wow, I think John may vote against that as it would distracting on Arrow missions, don't you think? And at the office…well, Isabel's expression may be worth it if we get our freak on in the middle of the conference room." Felicity slapped a hand over her mouth in shock and dismay. While she knew she had a tendency to ramble and usually inappropriately she wasn't one who lashed out in anger. "Ok, I think I've said enough now for both of us. I'll see you at the office." Her words were precise and ground out through a tightly clenched jaw.

Felicity turned and quickly escaped back into the bedroom. She barely remembered to change clothes and grab her tablet as well as her bag. She kept her head down and didn't even look for Oliver as she beat a hasty retreat from her second home.

Only upon getting to her apartment did Felicity realize it was Saturday and the first weekend she had off from both her jobs. She had been giddy at the prospect of just spending a day with Oliver whether it was in bed or out. _Well, there goes a perfectly good plan. God, what's happened?_

Before joining Team Arrow, Felicity would have drowned her sorrow in wine and Ben & Jerry's Phish Food but now she felt the distinct urge to punch something… _or someone actually_. Felicity was grumbling to herself but knew she wasn't willing to risk seeing anyone by returning to the lair.

"QC!" Felicity's voice sounded overly loud in her quiet apartment but at least it matched her enthusiastic fist pump. She had just remembered that QC had a state of the art gym and that as it was Saturday morning it would be empty. Quickly packing a gym bag, Felicity put her thoughts into action and headed to QC.

Once there and in gym clothes, Felicity paused for a moment to consider her options. Both John and Oliver had shown her some basics of self-defense but Felicity wasn't sure how to practice that on her own. Regardless, she still made her way over to the heavy bag and after finding a pair of gloves proceeded to pound the bag with all her pent-up anger without concern for form or technique. The violence of her attack did release some of her aggression so she moved over to the treadmill for a fast paced 5k run. Despite upping the incline Felicity still felt edgy and tense so she returned to the heavy bag. She continued to punch and even kick until her trembling arms and legs carried little force.

Finally nearing exhaustion, Felicity felt the threat of tears so she stripped her gloves and made her way back to the quiet sanctuary of the sauna. Not yet ready to just sit and cry, Felicity ran through a familiar yoga routine that eased her muscle tension and allowed her mind to drift. It was several minutes before Felicity even felt the tears streaming down her face.

Choking back a sob, Felicity dropped to the bench, curled onto her side and let the tears flow further exhausting her body and clearing her mind even as her heart ached.

The sauna heater abruptly kicked back on causing a light to flicker and both startled Felicity with the reminder of her public surroundings. Thinking how disappointed John and…well, John would be with her lack of awareness Felicity stood up and listened intently for a moment. She then flicked the interior lights off and found a place in the shadows to listen further. As the locker room lights were still on the small frosted window in the sauna door cast a soft silvery ray into the sauna.

Felicity gasped as Oliver's words came back to her, "like moonlight on the darkest night". Felicity had never heard Oliver say anything remotely poetic so those words immediately burned into her brain and her heart. She had thought then that it was his way of saying he needed her…just him and her, not CEO Oliver needing an EA nor the Arrow needing a partner but simply a man needing a woman.

"A man…" Felicity spoke out loud in wonder as more memories became clear. She remembered Oliver's description of his skills as primitive and dangerous to her. Her brain was awash with other moments that Oliver had drawn lines between them, always distancing himself as dangerous or even unworthy and trying to protect her. _It couldn't be that simple, could it?_ Even as the thought crossed Felicity's mind she remember Oliver's expression of guilt and defeat he had worn just that morning.

"Ah, so much about you now makes sense." Felicity couldn't help the smug smile as she felt she had just made as much progress in solving the mystery of Oliver Queen as she had when she found out he was the Arrow. Felicity continued to put the puzzle pieces together and was confident she was doing so correctly as she reviewed her past interactions with Oliver in each of her roles. There was a wealth of memories to draw on and Felicity continued to find many examples which supported her theory. Oliver often employed controlled distance in his interactions with her despite continuing to draw close enough for them to be lovers. He not only didn't see the hero she saw when she looked at him but he apparently didn't see the man she saw when they came together at night either.

"So, now what do I do about it?" Felicity asked that question out loud even as she did consider simply marching straight back to the lair and smacking the man for arrogantly deciding what she could or couldn't handle with no thought as to her own wishes. Felicity knew that was somewhat unfair as she not only accepted that his protective streak was deeply ingrained but also enjoyed that response from him upon occasion. Clearly this was not one of those occasions though as it was making her life difficult right now.

"Hmmm, making life difficult…"Felicity laughed out loud as a scheme came to life that would allow her to fight fire with fire. "If you don't want to talk, that is just fine Mr. Queen. We'll do this your way then."

**_END OF FLASHBACK_ **

It was that decision that brought Felicity to the upscale bath and body store and prompted her to stock up on a variety of feminine weapons to drive Oliver into sensory overload. It was also her motivation for the second hour she spent in a well-known lingerie boutique. _If he thought he experienced sensory overload before_ …Felicity laughed delightfully as she thought of the possibilities as she convinced her very own, very stubborn hero that she wanted and expected him to claim her.

Felicity intended to use everything Oliver had taught her, intentionally or not, to arouse his senses. She craved his instinctive response to her on that very basic, very primal level and didn't want or need his protection from it. If he really did consider himself the darkness of night then she was perfectly content playing the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for my delayed posting, I will post the remainder of the chapters now! I do hope you guys enjoy this one as Primal Oliver is one of my faves!!! :)


	5. Hell Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity wreaks a bit of havoc in Oliver's life! :) Hopefully you'll enjoy Oliver's torture and feel he's suffered enough…I found I miss the smut myself and would like to get back to it in the next chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading...just remember this was pre-beta so pls ignore my mistakes!! Also, I always got excited to post anything new (I still do really) but there are always more mistakes when you rush things! :)
> 
>  
> 
> DISCLAIMER – Standard legal jargon as I own nothing and receive nothing! No infringement intended!

The darkness and quiet did help sooth Oliver's raw nerves and lessen the sensory stimulation. Oliver closed his eyes and focused on his surroundings – there was a faint chemical odor from a recent paint job, the slight metallic echo of his footsteps, the cool hard surface of handrail he used to guide his steps as his eyes remained closed. He paused and redirected his focus internally as he acknowledged his heart rate was still elevated and his breath was coming in hard shallow puffs. He attempted to gain control and deepen his breaths as he slowed his heart but that ever-present band around his chest continued to tighten around him. He knew it had been a week since he hadn't felt that band constricting his breath while it kept his heart rate elevated.

The human instinct for fight or flight was created split second life or death decisions. It was intended as an instinctive response that lasted only moments. However, Oliver had felt locked in this state for the last week, always poised on the brink of fight or flight but never making that choice. Instead he felt each traitorous tremor of his nervous system as it released the chemicals necessary for his body to select either option. Now the tingling and trembling in his fingertips from the abundance of adrenaline seemed normal. He felt chilled to the bone by a numbing cold that even hot showers each evening couldn't penetrate but he knew the cold wasn't just symbolic but instead was his body re-directing blood for use by his muscles to guarantee his survival. He was also unable to focus on smaller tasks as it seemed his entire being was focused on this threat to his continued existence. Sunlight burned his eyes and he knew the constant state of pupil dilation lead many to believe he was on drugs. That wasn't strictly an incorrect conclusion but it felt more like he was going through withdrawal...it had now been one week since his last night with Felicity.

Like Sara had once told Felicity, Oliver too had long ago come to an understanding with physical pain. However, the complete betrayal of his body was a different matter. The Island had drilled the necessity for control into his very being and his return to civilization had simply cemented that lesson. Whether he was fighting to survive on the Island, fighting to save Queen Consolidated in the boardroom or fighting to keep his family together, Oliver knew he needed to remain in control of all his faculties. He had worked hard to adjust when he returned and with the help of Felicity and Diggle he had learned to control his senses, his instincts in this new environment. At least he thought he had, if this last week was any indication, he certainly hadn't mastered this lesson and his sensory overload had now reached such dangerous levels that compromised his ability to execute his various roles.

Oliver needed a respite from the chaotic stimulation but he wasn't sure how to achieve it. While Felicity hadn't left as he had feared, her presence aroused more than it soothed now. Clearly his body viewed her as a threat as his fight or flight responses were aroused to a fevered pitch and centered entirely on her. He was forced to maintain constant vigilance and rigid control over his muscles to prevent himself from acting on any of the sensory stimulation his body constantly catalogued from her. Scent, sight, tough, hearing, taste – he was continually bombarded with sensory input that brought more pain than pleasure. Additionally, this pain wasn't just physical but also, if the ache in his heart was any indication, it was emotional.

**_FLASHBACK_ **

** Monday **

As the minutes crept closer to the start time for the committee meeting Oliver had finally confessed to Diggle that he thought Felicity may not show. He used the excuse of their public boardroom surroundings as the reason he offered no further explanation but as he felt the angry glare from his friend he knew he was merely delaying the inevitable questions.

However, the click of heels in a familiar rhythm had him glancing quickly toward the door to see none other than Felicity Smoak arriving in the conference room. He was temporarily mesmerized by the sight and didn't even notice the cup of coffee she carried until she placed it in front of him. He moved his eyes to the container in surprise as Felicity had still only ever brought one cup of coffee to him previously. Even with his gaze on the coffee mug Oliver felt Felicity as she leaned in close to whisper, "Gonna be a rough week." Oliver couldn't even process the meaning of that as he was thoroughly distracted by an unfamiliar scent on her.

Felicity moved away quickly and Oliver was unable to identify the scent or explain its presence. It was a subtle scent that even he couldn't detect unless he was tantalizingly close to her. Oliver knew the close proximity was dangerous on many levels but he couldn't resist the mystery of the new and unexpected scent clinging to her.

As Oliver hadn't believed Felicity would remain in his life there was no contingency plan for handling his strong responses to any such proximity. He had thought that one night of darkness would have scared her off completely as had seen the slight bruising on her skin, marks he had carelessly left while indulging his own selfish needs to be close to her. He couldn't understand her continued presence but he knew that it would be a doubled edged sword. CEO Oliver would keep his over-qualified assistant and the Arrow would still have his trusty genius partner. However, as simply Oliver, he would be the one who feel the sting of the blade drawing blood if he tried to get close again. Any plan to move into a future with Felicity would have to be built around him keeping his distance.

However, that unfamiliar scent tugged at him the whole day. He catalogued all of her soaps and lotions and couldn't account for the new smell. He also couldn't determine its exact location. He discarded the possibility of a new laundry detergent as that would have meant a faint scent that permeated the general environment. This scent never lingered after her departure nor did it fade from her throughout the day. Oliver felt as if he was trying to capture a single rain drop of perfume in his hands. Not only was it a thoroughly frustrating endeavor but the added requirement of being close to Felicity sharpened the perfumed raindrop until it was a sharp pinprick of sensation that tormented even as it delighted his senses.

** Tuesday **

Despite a restless night and an early morning workout, Oliver had arrived at the office before Felicity. He sought to establish his control of his surroundings as he was determined to maintain a strategic distance from her. He had even decided that he would hold his breath if necessary to prevent further temptation. He couldn't afford to let Felicity's new scent challenge this resolve.

As his muscles tensed Oliver realized she had entered the office. He was prepared to look up, nod and quickly return to the work he was pretending to do. As Felicity's desk was outside the danger zone he felt this strategy would be successful…he just hadn't counted on the sight of Felicity stopping his heart.

Felicity was dressed in pants instead of a skirt or dress and that was unusual enough to warrant a second look. It appeared the suit was specifically tailored to her body as it hugged every curve. It was far from indecent but instead was sophisticated and elegant. Her legs appeared deliciously long and easily conjured images of them wrapped around him. Jerking his gaze up, he noted the jacket was cinched in at the waist. This only served to remind him of the number of times his own hands had encircled her waist.

With a frustrated groan Oliver pulled his eyes away and continued to read the same sentence several times as the various possible ways he could remove that suit from Felicity's body played out in vivid detail.

Oliver managed to remain safely ensconced in his office on calls and reviewing documents throughout the morning. Unfortunately as he had been so focused on ignoring Felicity he also ignored the clock. Felicity entered his office shortly before noon to remind him of a meeting. Oliver avoided her eyes as he gathered the appropriate file and prepared to leave; however, Felicity hadn't left the doorway and his eyes again dwelled on the femininity of her form as revealed by the traditionally masculine suit. He brought his gaze back to his desk just after he found it lingering on the flare of her hips.

Realizing he would need to pass by her, Oliver slowly inhaled as deeply as he could and prepared to hold his breath as he passed by her. He had intended to meet her eyes and nod briefly as he passed but as he brought his gaze up he was surprised by the soft emerald green of the silk blouse previously hidden beneath the suit jacket. The color itself spoke to him as did the sinful way it clung to breasts before floating away to her hips. As he came slowly closer he noted the lacy V cut-out between her breasts that revealed the camisole beneath her blouse. However, further inspection challenged that conclusion and Oliver felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach as he realized the lace was her bra. As the air had been knocked out of his lungs Oliver was forced to breathe in just as he stumbled by Felicity. The scent that branded his nostrils wasn't the mystery scent of yesterday but instead just Felicity and he nearly groaned at the additional stimulation.

Throughout the day, Felicity's jacket had at times concealed his view of her blouse. His focus remained locked on her as he was determined to discover what she wore underneath. When she had removed it at lunch, he had established the fact that there was only a single strap along each shoulder. He failed to determine whether or not it was simply a bra or more of a bustier. He wasn't aware of Felicity owning any such lingerie as that so he was unable to match the color or style to anything he had seen.

Finally as they left for the day, Oliver chose to violate his own strategic distance rule so he could place his hand at the small of her back. As he made contact with Felicity's heated skin he was forced to conclude it was her bra that had been playing havoc with his senses all day…and it was a bra he had never seen her wear.

** Wednesday **

Tuesday night was the first night that memories of Felicity hadn't filled Oliver's dreams. Instead, it was the new fantasy of stripping that fitted suit from her slender body in various QC office locations that played out during the night. It seemed that while he had fought to ignore Felicity this week his subconscious was only too happy to replay every tiny detail. Oliver could finally locate the new perfume as a single drop just between her breasts. He was finally able to see the new black lace bra when he slowly unbuttoned the silk blouse concealing it. Oliver awoke to sweat soaked sheets that still held the faintest scent of Felicity. Only after a cold shower did Oliver feel somewhat able to face temptation once again.

Cowardly or not, Oliver was more than a little grateful when he learned of a new Arrow mission that required his immediate attention. He was not only going to be well outside the danger zone of close proximity to Felicity but he was also able to leave before she even made it to the lair. For at least this one day he would be unable to see or smell her and he was hopeful that respite would ease the low level arousal that had wrecked his concentration over the last two days in the office. His body and his mind were screaming for release but for now he would simply accept a reprieve from the torment. He was also hopeful that this mission would even extend into the night. Perhaps the night would be able to break her hold on him and provide its customary exhilaration and comfort. Perhaps he would be able to take a deep breath for the first time in days.

At the first sound of Felicity's whisper in his ear warning bells alerted Oliver to the potential flaw in his plan. However, it wasn't until her first husky laugh that he fully appreciated the full extent of the abject failure of the plan. He certainly wouldn't be able to escape the sensual temptation Felicity presented today. In fact, it seemed the physical distance didn't even dull that damned double edged sword as it sliced through his heart and drew more blood.

Oliver gritted his teeth as Felicity continued to provide updates and intel as he traveled to the first of the abandoned warehouses the police thought housed a new cartel. He ended up spending the entire day checking various locations as Felicity's voice continued to direct him. Of course, the drive time meant a more relaxed team and as Felicity kept forgetting to turn off her comms he was forced to overhear her laughing banter with Diggle. Without intending to do so, Oliver started noting the differences in her laughter – easy and outright laughter as Diggle recounted the current rumors at QC, mischievous chuckling as she teased Diggle and even a teasing breathy laugh after a particularly inappropriate ramble. It was her husky, throaty giggle that drew his particular attention as he recalled other times he heard that distinctly arousing sound directly in his ear.

Oliver's search was finally rewarded though and as he intentionally made his presence known the recon mission quickly switched into a fight. He didn't even utilize his arrows but instead was thrilled with the hand-to-hand combat that allowed him to release his pent-up frustration. He would sport a few new bruises tomorrow but for a brief moment his body was under his control and responded as he needed. As the last man fell at his feet, Oliver closed his eyes and relished the feel of relaxed muscles even as he drew in a deeper breath than he had in days. However it was only a temporary respite as the moment he heard Felicity's voice asking if he was ok Oliver's body was again locked in battle mode and he knew it would be another long night.

** Thursday **

Oliver's fears came true as his nighttime fantasy Felicity did in fact laugh as she seduced him. Now not only did her scent wrap around him as she filled his vision but he was plagued by echoes of her husky laughter. Memories of his Felicity again merged with fantasy as he now dreamed of Felicity covered only in moonlight on the rooftop of their second home. Again Oliver awoke in the middle of the night painfully aroused and aching with need. He was tempted to use his "magic island herbs" to ease his suffering and force himself into a more restful slumber but he found himself clinging to the fantasy despite the pain it brought.

He again arrived at QC early with the excuse of needing to make up for yesterday's absence. In truth he was again determined to establish control over himself even as he fully expected a new blitz attack from his own body as soon as Felicity broke through his safe zone and entered his space.

The morning started uneventfully enough but instead of relief Oliver found himself apprehensive and edgy as if he anticipated an actual physical assault. He almost wished for such an attack when Felicity stumbled into him. He instinctively pulled her to him before realizing the effect of the full body contact. He immediately pushed back from her even as his hands lingered at her hips.

"Sorry, new shoes. Thanks for the save!" Felicity's words brought his eyes down to her feet where he noticed the bright red knee high boots that were hidden under the skirt she held up. Oliver's mind blank momentarily and he missed her next comment as his traitorous mind immediately supplied images of Felicity wearing only the boots. Unsure and frankly uncaring of what Felicity said, Oliver simply gave a curt nod and returned to his office.

She managed to lose her balance three times while they had lunch with Diggle. Another time when she brought him papers to sign. Once more when he surprised her at her desk and she stood too quickly. Each time he felt the impression of her body on his as his senses imprinted every detail in his brain – spicy herbal scent of her usual lotion, the quick hitch in her breath as she was startled by the loss of balance, the fuzzy warmth of her scarf trailing over his hands, the push of her breasts into his chest even though that feeling was replaced by her hands, the closer proximity of her lips to his because of the higher heels, the restless shifting of her hips in his hands as she sought to regain her balance. Even as Oliver tried to ignore each sensation he knew tonight's dream would replay them in slow motion.

Oddly enough it was the feel of Felicity's fingers on his forearm that nearly drove him mad with want. She had been standing between he and Diggle and mumbled something about something in her shoes. She leaned lightly into his side as she grasped his arm for the needed balance to life one boot. Oliver knew she must have done something to the boot but his focus was on the feel of her fingers.

She couldn't wrap them completely around his forearm but he would swear she tightened her grip before sliding her hand up his arm a few inches and then back down. The movement was slight and innocent enough as it was just rocking back and forth with her unsteady swaying on a single leg. However, as she repeated it a second and third time it captured Oliver's imagination entirely. He could feel her fingers wrapped more intimately around him and he had to lock his body in place to prevent him from taking Felicity then and there.

** Friday **

After four days locked in his own personal circle of hell Oliver wasn't surprised his dreams took a darker twist that night. Felicity's innocent fuzzy scarf turned into a useful restraint that allowed him to bind her to their bed. The scarf kept her hands still but he could easily remember the roll of her hips as well as the clenching of her thighs. Somehow his fantasy Felicity did thwart her bonds though and then Oliver was treated to not just the sensation of her fingers around him but also the wet heat of mouth. Waking hard and gasping for air was becoming the norm as was a punishing workout and cold shower.

Seated at his desk once again, Oliver gathering his senses around him and prepared for another battle. He knew it wasn't Felicity but himself that he was battling so he also knew that regardless of the final outcome he was going to lose.

He could only assume Felicity sensed his turmoil or was able to read his torment as she again placed a cup of coffee on his desk. He had tensed at her approach again and only released his breath after she had returned to her own desk. He took a moment to focus on the offered beverage and noted that light pink stain that had to belong to Felicity. As if approached by Eve in the Garden, Oliver felt the weight of temptation even as he chose to indulge. He picked up the cup and intentionally placed his lips directly on top of the imprint of hers. Oliver completely ignored the taste of the sweetened coffee as memories of Felicity's taste assailed him. He closed his eyes to savor the delicious torture and even hummed his approval of her taste before he licked his lips. He opened his eyes to see Felicity standing before him holding another coffee cup.

"Yes, mine is much sweeter than yours and I want it back."

Oliver watched helplessly as she switched the cups and nearly voiced his dissent before noticing his cup was also stained with her lipstick. For the remainder of the day, Oliver's eyes constantly sought Felicity's lips as he fantasized about the taste of her on his own lips.

** Saturday **

Each day this week had presented a new challenge and the nights had offered no reprieve either. For the first time ever, Oliver was glad it was Saturday and was hopeful he wouldn't be around Felicity at all. He was currently working out hard after his vividly erotic dreams had focused entirely on ways he could savor Felicity's taste. Again his memories had merged with fantasy and again Oliver awoke craving Felicity.

The ring of his phone broke his concentration and Oliver dropped the metal baton and stepped away from the dummy with reluctance. After a brief conversation with Diggle, Oliver now knew today would continue his torment. Felicity hadn't answered her phone and Diggle wanted Oliver to use the tracking program and find her. Diggle had made weekend plans with Lyla so he expected Oliver to fulfill the team objective of protecting Felicity and ensuring her well-being.

Pulling up the program Oliver noted Felicity was at QC and appeared to be in the gym. He didn't even want to consider why she would chose to train there instead of here. He simply called her phone himself and after leaving a message he grabbed a shirt and headed to QC.

Oliver checked with Security to confirm there had been no visitors and even learned that the only card swipe into the gym that morning was Felicity's. He made his way quickly to the gym and steeled his nerves to face temptation once again. However, as he pushed through the doors and quickly scanned the area he realized Felicity was nowhere to be seen. He again tried her cell phone but it still went to voicemail. Oliver realized he needed to check the locker room but stopped at the threshold to again call Felicity before he crossed that line. As there was no answer, he loudly knocked on the door and called her name.

As he paused to allow her time to reply, Oliver felt his body slide from anxiety to anticipation. He was trying desperately to ignore memories of shared showers and that desperation leaked into his voice as he again called her name and knocked loudly. He repeated the attempt for a third time before slowly making his way inside. He also prepared himself for all possibilities of a scantily clad, partially disrobed Felicity Smoak and hoped he had the control to walk away from her again.

Oliver did have the presence of mind to note there were no noises from the shower so he veered first toward the dressing rooms. He continued to call out to Felicity but his voice was more of a hoarse whisper now. The sound of a door opening actually startled him and Oliver's muscles became even more tightly drawn as his senses went on red alert.

He turned to watch Felicity emerge from the sauna in a haze of steam. A myriad of sensory observations fought for dominance – pink sports bra and brief blue running shorts, the glowing sheen of sweat covering her soft skin, damp, wispy curls clinging to her face, the feminine scent that was just Felicity, the sweet pliancy of relaxed muscles. This image of Felicity now merged with his nighttime memories of resting between her legs with his forehead touching hers as they shared their breaths.

Only her gasping call of his name broke Oliver's dreamlike trance. He raised his eyes to meet hers and mumbled that Diggle was worried because she hadn't answered her phone. With that he turned and practically sprinted from the locker room.

For Oliver it was as if all his nighttime memories of Felicity were now superimposed over every interaction he had with her even in the light of day. Like a photograph that had been overdeveloped, even the most innocent actions, words, movements of this woman incited his basest instincts. He knew she was the best thing in his life but he was no longer sure he could survive her presence.

Oliver's running had brought him to the stairwell and he pushed through the door eagerly.

**_END OF FLASHBACK_ **

Sitting heavily on the stair step, Oliver buried his head in his hands. He had no answers and no direction to turn his pain back to pleasure or at least learn to survive it. The ring of his phone brought Oliver back to the present as did Diggle's immediate question about Felicity's safety.

"She's fine John. She was actually in the sauna when I found her which is probably why she didn't answer." Oliver unconsciously adopted a more formal tone as he fought to wrest control of his body, mind and heart from Felicity. There was a moment of silence before Diggle responded.

"Are you? Ok that is? You've been a bit…tense this week."

The bland analysis of him as tense instead of insane or tormented startled a harsh laugh from Oliver. "Tense? Yeah, that's one word for it." When there was no response Oliver continued more quietly. "I just don't know if this is going to work."

Oliver trusted Diggle to put the pieces together himself without requiring Oliver to explain his feelings but he did give him a few moments to reach the correct conclusion.

"Feel like you are losing your mind? Perhaps a bit over-stimulated?" Diggle's tone oozed sarcasm and amusement which made no sense to Oliver. It was clear despite the jab that his friend had a point so Oliver simply waited.

"Oliver, as Felicity once said to you, get your head out of your ass! Review this past week – not what you've felt but perhaps what our Ms. Smoak has done. Maybe that will help you decide whether or not you want to talk to her."

Oliver heard the click signaling the end of the call before he could even question Diggle. As he sat back on the step Oliver tried to do as he instructed but it was difficult to separate out his feelings from what had happened. Determined though, Oliver fell back upon the familiar habit of focusing on Felicity. He closed his eyes and concentrated on her, the first time he saw her on Monday morning when she brought him coffee and warned him it was going to be a rough week...


	6. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the title says, Oliver and Felicity "talk"! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading, bookmarking, and/ or leaving kudos!! It really does inspire me to try harder to create a story that will hopefully make you happy (or need a cold shower in this case), surprise you or otherwise make it worthwhile for you to continue to read my works! Hopefully this chapter won't disappoint! :)
> 
> The usual warning that this was not beta'd so pls ignore mistakes! I do recall now that I meant to beta myself before I posted which is why I stopped at Chapter 3 previously! However, I then completely forgot and did nothing!
> 
> DISCLAIMER – Nope, still not mine - I'm just getting them dirty for a bit before returning them to their owners!

"Oliver, as Felicity once said to you, get your head out of your ass! Review this past week – not what you've felt but perhaps what our Ms. Smoak has done. Maybe that will help you decide whether or not you want to talk to her."

Oliver heard the click signaling the end of the call before he could even question Diggle. As he sat back on the step Oliver tried to do as he instructed but it was difficult to separate out his feelings from what had happened. Determined though, Oliver fell back upon the familiar habit of focusing on Felicity. He closed his eyes and concentrated on her, the first time he saw her on Monday morning – the first day she brought him coffee…and warned him it was going to be a rough week…

Oliver didn't need to use their tracking programs to find Felicity as he knew she would be waiting for him at the lair. It really hadn't taken him long to see this past week differently and to realize that he and Felicity did, in fact, need to 'talk'. He wasn't sure she fully appreciated just how effective her plan had been but he would be more than happy to show her.

It was thoughts like those that Oliver was trying to rein in before he was again facing not just temptation but seduction. While he didn't know if Felicity had intended more than just revenge or not, he did know she had thoroughly seduced him with her sensual assault. The walls that had been painstakingly erected during his five years on the island and reinforced when his return forced him to play several roles had been demolished in one week. In truth, Oliver knew the walls held steady for everyone else but his concern was for the one tantalizing blond woman who alone had breached his defenses. So again Oliver found his focus consumed with solving the mystery of this woman even if he approached it with more caution this time.

Oliver found Felicity seated at her computers when he descended the stairs. She didn't rush to hug him as she had after several missions now but instead calmly continued to type without acknowledging his entrance. He continued to walk slowly toward her without saying a word but when he was mere feet away she broke the silence.

"We really do need to talk."

Felicity's voice had been eerily calm and Oliver paused to consider just how to proceed if she was only interested in tormenting him instead of pursuing some type of reconciliation. Her presence pulled at him especially after the Hell Week of trying to avoid her so with the past week in mind, Oliver quietly crossed the remaining space until he could whisper in her ear.

"I want you."

Felicity jumped up quickly and Oliver realized she hadn't known he was quite that close. He didn't think her accelerated heart rate nor her gasp was strictly a product of her surprise though and that gave him hope even as her words and chiding tone diminished it.

"That's not what I meant Oliver."

They were still standing close together and Oliver took a moment to appreciate her and relished the comfort of her presence after the anxiety of the week. He was able to take a full deep breath which, of course, meant the familiar scent of Felicity's body lotion teased him even as he used the rest of his senses to add fuel to the fire: soft blond hair still slightly damp from the sauna curled around her face, bright flowery shirt concealed the details of her small but lush frame, dark black skirt that did cling to her curves, fingers tipped in neon green polish clutched and tapped a pen against her desk with one hand while the other pushed at the glasses already in place and a carefully blank expression despite the banked heat in her eyes.

Oliver realized in that moment that despite all he had been through with Felicity that she was still just as bright, subtle and complex as the moonlight and he was no closer to solving the mystery of her. He also realized he was no less mesmerized in this moment than he had been that night he had first kissed her under the night sky at the gala. He was no less mesmerized than when he met her eyes and asked for her help as he lay bleeding in her back seat. He was no less mesmerized than the first day he met her in her darkened IT office. He also realized he would probably always be mesmerized by this remarkable woman so he sought to give her the words to help her understand that in hopes that she would reciprocate.

"It's more than want…I need you. I crave you Felicity."

He watched in amazement as her body responded to the heat of his words. He was close enough to see her eyes dilate even as she peeked at him through her lashes and issued a soft sigh.

"Oliver…"

Exasperation and desire warred in her tone and Oliver sought desperately to encourage the desire. He pushed her chair away from her so he could step closer and was rewarded with a slight gasp. He also noted how she instinctively pressed her thighs tightly together as her hips rolled her weight back and forth. Oliver found comfort in this evidence of her desire but it also served to excite him further. He was again made aware of just how easily this remarkable woman could both sooth and arouse him. His lips quirked when he remembered just how remarkable she'd been and how easily she had tormented him all week. He couldn't resist the temptation to remind her of that as well.

"Should we talk about fashion? Perhaps you want to discuss that new black lace bra or the red knee high boots?" He watched as guilt now entered the fray to blend with her annoyance and desire in her eyes.

"No? Well, what about coffee? That's innocent enough, isn't it?" Oliver still marveled at the sheer brilliance of her plan. He wasn't convinced she fully understood what her ministrations had wrought nor did he know exactly what she had intended. Oliver had just started playing the possible scenarios to explain her reasons when Felicity's voice interrupted him.

"You're doing it again…you're thinking."

"I do that sometimes." Oliver grinned mischievously even as he wondered at the ease with which she read him while he struggled to understand her. Perhaps his confusion was the reason he blurted out his question with no finesse. "What was your end game Felicity?"

He watched as she blushed and quickly broke eye contact as if suddenly shy or unsure. He couldn't believe this brilliant sexy woman who brought him to his knees in less than a week wasn't as confident or controlled as he assumed. He also found he didn't like that possibility and rushed to speak again.

"If you wanted to drive me crazy, you succeeded."

His smiled as she looked up in surprise and smiled a bit herself even if she still didn't speak. He stepped closer and offered more "I dreamed of you…and by the end of the week I couldn't separate those dreams from reality. I guess I should say you haunted me."

He saw not just smug satisfaction at her success in her expression but also her desire. He watched in fascination as her tongue darted out to wet her lips. He stepped even closer – not touching but close enough that she dropped her head back to retain eye contact. Oliver could now see the pulse thrumming quickly at the base of her neck and he felt his own react as well.

"Do you want to talk about how often I awoke hard, aching and reaching for you?"

Oliver moved slightly to circle around to Felicity's left shoulder, lightly brushing her body but keeping his hands and lips to himself. He had been in a state of arousal all week but he desperately needed to see if Felicity felt even a small portion of that same pulsing need. He needed to know if she felt it heating her own blood as the sensual haze fogged her brain. He paused to lower his lips to her left ear to speak, never touching but allowing both to feel the heat of the other's body.

"Do you want to hear me say I missed you? Every night…and every day."

Oliver continued his movement to stand directly behind Felicity now. He leaned slightly against her and felt her back arch in response as she gasped lightly. He was forced to lock his muscles in place and hold his breath for a few moments to prevent his hands from grasping her hips and grinding into the backside she pressed against him. This time when he spoke his voice was low and gravelly.

"Do you want to know how scared I am that being close to you puts you in danger? Not just from my enemies but from me? How lost I would be without you?"

Oliver again moved to stand just behind her right shoulder now. He nearly growled when Felicity tilted her head to the left now to grant him easier access. He wanted nothing more than to nuzzle her neck find the scent of her lotion before trying to determine its taste on his tongue. Instead he placed his mouth just above her right ear barely brushing it when his lips moved as he spoke.

"Do you want to know I would do anything for you? Just you, Felicity."

Keeping his body close, he continued to brush against her lightly as he moved to stand directly in front of her. He knew he could go no further in this without knowing that Felicity needed him and wanted him to stay. He could barely force out the words to give her the choice.

"I would do anything for you…do you want me to leave?"

Felicity frantically clutched his forearms as she shook her head no and attempted to bury her nose into his neck. Oliver prevented the last movement and brought her eyes to him by lifting her chin. He leaned low and allowed mouth to brush her lips as he asked the final question.

"Do you want me to love you Felicity?"

Oliver barely heard Felicity's breathy whisper of "Yes" before she pressed her lips and body forcefully into his. His arms automatically encircled her to hold her tightly against him.

As they had on that first night, Oliver's senses were alive but beyond his control. He had wanted to focus on every detail so he could replace his tormented memories of this week. However, like a starving man falling upon a feast he was simply overwhelmed by her: Felicity's teeth nipped lightly at his bottom lips, her silky hair clung to his hands as he freed it from her pony tail, the recognition that she wore that new lacy black bra for him, the familiar herbal scent of her body lotion as he kissed the valley between her breasts, her hum of appreciation when he unzipped her skirt and pushed it out of his way so he could cup her lightly through her matching black panties, the matching green polish of her toenails as she stepped out of those panties.

While his memories and fantasies had merged to wreck his focus and tease his senses all week, the real Felicity was the one that completely devastated him as she stole his breath and touched his heart. Oliver paused as he gently laid Felicity on the bed and simply stared in awe that this woman chose to be here with him. As Felicity shifted impatiently he grinned and went to work on his own clothes thinking only to remove this last barrier as quickly as possible so he could be with her. However with his eyes locked on Felicity he noted her lust-filled gaze followed every movement of his fingers as he unbuttoned his shirt and he was entranced, unable to move for a moment.

As Felicity raised her eyes to him in question, he released a quick harsh exhale and fought the urge to just jump her now. Instead he pulled the shirt ends off his shoulders and watched as Felicity's hungry graze trace his scars, tattoos and tense muscles. He felt burned by her gaze as if she was physically caressing him. With a low groan, he quickly unbuttoned his pants but Felicity's gasp again required his focus. He then noticed her fists tightly clenched the sheets even as her hips rolled restlessly and her legs parted. He took a deep breath to find his control and instead found the sweet scent of Felicity's arousal filling his nostrils and furthered hardening his body. Oliver simply came undone – unable to withstand that stimulation after a week of exile from her.

Oliver wouldn't remember how he got out of the rest of his clothes but he would always remember covering Felicity's body with his own. Oliver would also remember the sound Felicity's husky laugh in his ear even as her arms clutched as his shoulders and her legs closed around his hips. With that first intimate contact of Felicity's center against him though Oliver's senses completely fractured. Each new sensation crashed over and combined with the last creating a kaleidoscope of passion that he could neither control or separate. Felicity's breathy moans were delivered directly into his ears and often accompanied by a quick nibble, the sheets felt cool and rough against his overheated body especially in comparison to Felicity's softness, the pink flush of her arousal that extended well beyond her face, the scent of that arousal continued to tease and managed to bring Oliver's entire focus on the need to again know her taste.

After several more hot duels with her tongue, Oliver began his slow path down her body as Felicity shivered and twisted sensuously. He trailed his lips to nip at her ear before scraping his teeth down the tendon in her neck to kiss the fluttery pulse there. He then devoted equal time to her breasts until both hardened peaks glistened with the moisture left by his tongue. Oliver pressed hot open-mouthed kisses in a straight line down the middle of her stomach but veered suddenly to the left. He grinned against her outer thigh as Felicity groaned in demand. He did move between her legs but only to lick the moisture from the inside of each thigh. Felicity's hands in his hear tugged impatiently as she brought her hips off the bed. Oliver continued to tease and even placed several bites on the inside of her leg before finally covering her with his mouth. Felicity's back arched off the bed at that first sudden contact and broke their contact. Oliver quickly held her hips and continued to suck greedily at the wetness of her center as that quick taste hadn't satisfied him. As he continued to caress Felicity intimately with his tongue her body grew taut like a bow. As he slid one finger into her Felicity's body exploded around her. With his finger and tongue he felt the spasms as she found her release.

Oliver felt the sweet pliancy of Felicity's now relaxed body as he again covered it with his own. He knew the tension in his own frame would weigh on her so he took care to keep his weights on his forearms and legs. This also allowed him to ensure Felicity's center wasn't pressed directly into him as he knew he couldn't resist such a temptation. For now, he took a moment to simply savor the sight of Felicity relaxed and glowing beneath him before he dipped just his head to press light teasing kisses against her lips. He wanted them both to enjoy her release even as he wanted to bring her arousal back so they could continue.

Kissing Felicity was definitely a delightful distraction and soothed the raging needs of his body. Their kisses soon became too hot to sooth though and their touches were now more urgent. Oliver found he needed to reacquaint himself with everything about this woman and he felt the driving urge to be inside her. Wanting her arousal to match his, he focused instead on kissing her even as he brought one hand between them. Oliver groaned as the searing heat and wetness again welcomed him. He lightly traced a pattern to tease her before grinding his palm more forcefully against her. As focused as he was, Oliver jerked in surprise as Felicity's fingers wrapped around him and tugged him gently forward as she opened her legs further.

Finding his control only after he thrust himself into her hands, Oliver suddenly jerked her hand away. Remembering his fantasy of bondage with Felicity, he brought both her arms to the headboard and forced her fingers to close around it. Felicity whimpered but as he growled and pressed intimately against her she acquiesced with a strong grip that pulled her body up and slightly away from him.

Oliver growled again and pushed her completely back onto the bed. He returned to their passionate kisses even as he returned his hand to her rest lightly between her legs. He didn't move that hand but did encourage Felicity to grind against him and even slid two fingers inside her when she did. Oliver was thrilled to feel the return of tension to Felicity's body knew he was reaching the end of his control as his own body was now drawn tighter than his bow.

With a groan, Oliver positioned himself to slide fully into Felicity's welcoming body. He wanted to savor the feel of that homecoming for just a moment as he knew that they were now in the eye of the storm. Felicity must have craved that approaching storm as she clenched her muscles to draw him in even as she rolled her hips. Her movements pushed him over the brink and Oliver surrendered to his senses, his instincts and to his woman. They came together in a torrent of sensations – moving as one in the ageless rhythm that allowed men and women to claim their mates, sharing their breaths between heated kisses, hands alternately clutching in need and stroking in encouragement until they came shattered in each other's arms.

Oliver finally felt his tensions and anxiety eased even as he felt the pliancy in Felicity's limbs as they drifted from him to lay relaxed against the bed. He dropped his forehead to Felicity's to share her breaths as he enjoyed the satisfaction of their mutual fulfillment. As his heart rate slowed Oliver drew in a deep breath that drew in their commingled scents.

He knew this wasn't just a physical relaxation for him but an easing of his mental anxiety and the total defeat of his emotional defenses. He felt a slight hitch in his breath as he wondered how to explain this to Felicity as he knew there was no avoiding talking now. How could he find the right words to explain just what she means to him – how she soothes and arouses him, how she distracts and focuses him? Would any of this make sense to her? He opened his eyes as he raised his forehead from hers and was surprised to see the wariness in Felicity's gaze. Even as he watched, her eyes closed briefly and once they opened again it was as if a shutter now hid her feelings from him. Before he could question her though she raised a hand to lightly touch his face as she smiled gently at him.

"You will be here when I wake-up, right?"

"I promise." Oliver gave the words immediately and meant them but he was also still focused on her eyes. He had expected her to question him and want to talk as a silent Felicity was out of character for her. Again though Felicity acted before he could and pushed lightly at his chest. Following their normal custom, he eased off her onto his back and drew her to his side. She curled toward him and found her favorite position. As the silence lengthened and became increasingly awkward to Oliver he was surprised to realize her breathing had evened out and Felicity was fast asleep.

Despite having Felicity in his arms, sleep still eluded Oliver. There were some puzzle pieces missing and it appeared the mystery of Felicity would haunt him even now. He just couldn't figure out why she hadn't wanted to talk. Felicity was rarely shy nor did she usually restrain herself from speaking.

Oliver suddenly remembered her response when he asked what her end game was for the week of torment. It still bothered him that she didn't feel comfortable sharing her thoughts. Talking was what they did, well, what she did anyway. He was used to her arguing with him, nagging him to do what she thought was right, reminding him he was more than just CEO Oliver or the Arrow - the woman was always talking.

Oliver suppressed the sudden urge to laugh as it occurred to him that perhaps they were rubbing off on one another. She could now do his silent thing and he wanted to talk or at least consider talking. He knew he was more comfortable with actions and he continued to struggle with how to express his feelings in words that would allow her to fully accept him. Perhaps Felicity had similar fears then? Again, the thought of this amazing woman being even a little afraid of him or anything wrenched his heart.

He remembered how she had faced her fear of heights for that airplane ride to Lian Yu and that was before she was forced to jump from the plane only to find herself on a landmine shortly thereafter. She always faced her fears and he could do no less now himself as this was Felicity after all.

Felicity was the one he killed for after his promise to Tommy. Felicity was the one who constantly risked her life for him. He spent his days and nights with this woman. She was his best friend and lover. She may not know every secret from his past but she knew him, knew him and accepted him. He would be nothing without her as she was the best part of him. He trusted her with his life...Oliver did laugh out loud now as it all became crystal clear to him.

Felicity roused herself to look at him in question and he couldn't help but laugh again. The words came so easily then.

"Felicity, I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that Oliver really pushed through in this one and it was really easy to write even if it wasn't the direction I intended. Up until now I had chosen specifically to avoid the L word but that last sentence was actually the first one I wrote!


	7. The Matrix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - there's no smut in this chapter! :) However, I needed Oliver to continue to deal with using his senses as a tool so this chapter was born!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with me on this one! Oh and a special thanks to Mic RiddyBanon for being my beta even though I still have to accept ownership of all mistakes! Yes, finally we got to the part that should read a little smoother now!!! :)
> 
> DISCLAIMER – Still just playing with the CW's toys!

Oliver crashed through the door following the remaining cartel member but then came stumbling to a halt. This was apparently the new greenhouse they had intel on but that wasn't what stopped him. The scent of the various flowers flowed up and like heat waves off the payment in the summer it seemed to create a haze in front of him distorting his vision. They had concerns about the specifics of the deadly new drugs but this wasn't a complication Oliver had expected. The heat and humidity of the greenhouse made it feel like the flowers' scents were clogging not just his lungs, but also his pores. For a moment he struggled to breathe, to move. Oliver felt as if the oppressive heat and smell in the greenhouse had wrapped around him completely imprisoning him in his senses. Only when he heard Felicity say his name in a loud panicked voice was he able to focus and regain some semblance of control. He shook his head and tried to look around but the thug was unfortunately gone.

"I lost him." Oliver gave no additional details and backed out of the greenhouse instead of pursuing the lead through it.

"Oliver, where are you? Are you ok? Did you find the greenhouse?" It was Felicity's voice again that captured his attention but before he responded he closed the door and took a deep breath. The night air did help break the remaining lethargy that he had felt while wrapped in a cocoon of sensations inside the greenhouse.

"Yeah, lost him inside—" Oliver wasn't sure how to explain that but luckily for him Felicity interrupted him impatiently.

"Can you grab some of the plants? If we have a sampling for lab tests we might have more to go on."

Oliver hesitated but knowing Felicity was right he took a deep breath and plunged back inside. The second exposure wasn't any easier than the first and as he processed even more details from the scene it actually became worse. Now it seemed the individual scent of each plant was fighting for dominance even as his vision remained hazy. He did use his sense of smell to grab several plants with different scents before stepping back out to breathe in the night air.

"Got them – on the way back." Oliver again offered no additional details even though he knew there would be questions when he returned.

Driving his bike back to the lair, Oliver replayed the scene in his mind several times. He considered the possibility of the plants containing natural drugs even before processing; however, he discarded that thought as the Triad member should have been similarly affected. Additionally, there would most likely have been other side effects as well. Oliver still resisted the possibility that his own senses were to blame for his reaction though.

He had been in much better control lately and suffered less sensory overload than he ever had since returning from the Island. Felicity continued to be a healing balm that allowed him to focus and sharpen his skills even as she soothed him. Oliver felt he could indulge his senses and control his instinctive responses now and even use them to his advantage both with Felicity and during the Arrow activities. He no longer viewed his sensory sensitivity as curse even if he still believed it was a primitive, predatory skill that had developed to aid his survival on the Island. As long as he had control then it wasn't a danger to anyone, not even Felicity. Tonight's event shook his newly found confidence in his control and Oliver felt anger heat his blood even as he hoped there was another explanation.

Oliver attempted to control his nerves as he opened the door to the lair. He had become accustomed to simply being himself here as it was just him, Felicity, and Diggle though so it was difficult to pull on a mask. He settled for simply dropping the bag on Felicity's desk and stepping away. As both she and Diggle focused on the bag, Oliver was able to continue to fight for control even as he remained on the edge.

He watched as Felicity's brow furrowed when she examined the first plant. Diggle was similarly engrossed and both brought a plant up for closer inspection. Oliver noted Felicity even closed her eyes as she scented one fragrant bloom. For his part, Oliver continued to take shallow breaths through his mouth in order to limit his exposure to the plants' scents.

"It's hard to believe such sweet little flowers are doing so much damage." Felicity noted as she held hers out for Diggle.

"It's just another tool Felicity – blame the people." Diggle responded with a degree of cynicism.

"True but still—" Felicity began but Oliver couldn't wait and interrupted her.

"Don't the smells bother you?" Oliver watched as his friends turned as his voice. He knew the abrupt question as well as his position far from them would raise a red flag but he needed an answer. These were the two people who mattered most and he needed to know what they thought about this situation. He watched as they exchanged a look before Felicity moved away.

"Can you smell them over there?" Diggle asked the obvious question.

Oliver swallowed hard and looked away to watch Felicity move about the med lab before he answered stiffly, "Yes."

"And in the greenhouse?" Felicity had located some bags and had started sealing the plants inside but now turned slowly to meet his eyes. "What happened there?"

"It was…disorienting. He was right in front of me and I should have had him but…" Oliver hated to admit to them that he had let the Triad member go even though he knew he held himself more responsible for that loss than they ever would. They worked as a Team and he knew they were more concerned about him than the Triad, but Oliver still hated losing a lead because of his own lack of control. The Island had taught him to value control over power and it was a lesson that formed the cornerstone of his journey as the Arrow. Tonight was especially frustrating as he felt he had fought this opponent before and believed he had control over his senses.

"Can you distinguish between the plants? How does it affect you?"

Felicity's questions brought Oliver's attention back to the task at hand and he took a moment to really look at both of them as he considered his answer. They were the only two who never looked at him like he was a sideshow freak nor expected him to be as he was before the Island. Both simply accepted him as he was – no judgment, no comparison to the past. That didn't mean they just let him slide by or get his own way, in fact, both were very vocal in expressing their opinions. They were the ones with the highest expectations for him and had the most confidence in his ability to meet those expectations. He never wanted to take them for granted nor give them reason to doubt him. However, as he had continued to withhold the extent of his sensory perception from them he wondered if this is where he would lose them. Oliver realized he had been silent for too long, lost in his thoughts, when Felicity spoke hesitantly.

"Oliver, are you ok?"

In that moment, Oliver decided he needed to be honest with them. Both continued to put their lives on the line for him and he knew he owed them full disclosure even if it meant they would choose to leave him.

"Yes and yes, I can distinguish between the plants. In the greenhouse, it was almost as if I could see the scents in the air. It was overwhelming and…" Oliver paused to swallow nervously. It was easier to decide to tell them than it was to actually share his thoughts and feelings but he was determined.

"On the Island, it was an open and quiet environment so my senses were just a tool for survival – I really didn't even notice them or any change in them. When I returned here, it was different, more chaotic and just so much more information. My senses, my reactions to them aren't always under my control." Oliver again paused to swallow hard before he continued.

"Tonight, for a moment, I was frozen. The scents not only made it difficult to breathe but also to move and even see. I should have had the Triad guy but I simply stopped and let him get away. I had thought maybe the plants even in that form may have had a drug-like effect—"

"And you let us smell them as you stood across the room?"

Oliver was startled by Felicity's interruption and realized how she was seeing the situation. "Logically, I knew there was no danger, Felicity. I was in the greenhouse for several minutes and even carried the plants back with me. I just needed to know how they would affect…" Oliver again trailed off as he wasn't sure how to fully explain as he knew how this would look to them.

"Normal people?" Diggle completed his thought for him and even grinned. "Thanks man."

"You're right. I owe you both an apology. I wasn't thinking straight and I'm—" Oliver needed them to understand he wouldn't put them in danger but Felicity interrupted him.

"Way too easy to manipulate? Obviously!" Felicity grinned at him before she continued. "We know you wouldn't put us in danger, Oliver. You need us—"

"Would be lost without us really—" Diggle added.

"Could barely function on your own before us and certainly not now that we have spoiled you." Felicity completed their shared thought and she and Diggle now laughed easily.

Oliver was constantly surprised that these two took everything about this in stride even as he struggled. Felicity always brought light into his world and she and Diggle were both right that he was lost without them. He walked across the room to join them and offered his hand to Diggle who stepped forward to shake it. Oliver then stopped to stand directly in front of a still laughing Felicity. He smiled at her warmly before pressing a light kiss to her smiling lips.

"Thank you…thank you both." Oliver knew those words covered a myriad of things and at his friends' smiles knew they were aware of that as well. Regardless of his affection for them both, Oliver was ready to ignore the emotional stuff and focus on doing something.

"You'll send—" Oliver started to speak but Felicity cut him off again.

"Send the plants to the lab? Of course, I'm on it." Felicity smiled at him before suddenly biting her bottom lip. With a quick exhale, she blurted out, "Oliver, there's something you need to know."

Tension invaded Oliver's entire body as he watched Felicity drop her eyes from his and turn instead to Diggle. Diggle placed a hand on her shoulder to squeeze gently even as he nodded his support. Felicity still hadn't spoken so Oliver had to break the silence.

"What's going on?"

Felicity's answer was a jumble of words which revealed just how nervous she was about sharing the information. "I've done some research – there are actually a lot of studies on sensory perception and even on how people perceive their sensory perception. It's really a fascinating topic but that's not as important to you as I'm sure you just want to know what the bottom line is…for most people, the frontal lobe actually interprets the sensory input and gives the person a schematic of it. Each person's brain may interpret the data differently though and some are closer to reality than others. There are people though who bypass that initial interpretation and actually sense the raw data itself. Basically, most people think they are seeing the truth but only a few have taken the red pill and actually see the Matrix for what it is. You have taken the red pill, Neo."

Oliver just stared at her as he tried to process everything she had said and just what it meant. He wasn't surprised that they had talked about him, nor that Felicity had done research, but it was surprising that she had focused her research so well even though he had never spoken about this in detail before. Yes, he had alluded to things and he knew they had guessed some things but he didn't realize just how much they already knew and had accepted without concern.

"What Felicity is trying to say is that there's nothing wrong or dangerous about your sensory perception. You just have another tool you have to fight the city's criminals—" Diggle spoke as Oliver hadn't been able to formulate a reply yet.

"Like a superhero!" Felicity enthusiastically concluded.

Oliver still stared at them – he hadn't accepted their label of hero even if he did try to live up to it. However, he knew superhero was completely outside of the realm of possibility. Superheroes didn't have the darkness inside that he did but he knew better than to argue the point with Felicity.

"We even have a plan!" Felicity continued as he still hadn't replied.

A couple weeks later Oliver found himself an unwilling participant in that plan. Felicity had stated repeatedly that one incident didn't provide sufficient data so they needed to test the hypothesis.

"We can't exactly ask for a day tour of the Triad's secret greenhouse, can we? The city's botanical garden is the next best thing and should easily meet our requirements. As QC even made a donation a private tour wasn't hard to arrange, Oliver."

Oliver had to smile over her use of "our" as he hadn't supported the hypothesis and hadn't agreed to test yet even if his presence in the car implied otherwise. Something seemed off in Felicity's tone and when it clicked Oliver suppressed a smile to ask blandly.

"When?"

"When what?"

As Felicity wouldn't meet his eyes, Oliver knew his conclusion was right but he still wanted her to admit it. "When did QC make a donation?"

He watched in amusement as Felicity did turn to meet his eyes and even narrowed her gaze in annoyance.

"Last week."

Felicity's tone wasn't apologetic but instead challenging and Oliver couldn't resist any challenge this woman offered. He quickly pulled her to him and pressed several kisses on her mouth and was thrilled when Felicity's arms slipped around his neck as she returned his kisses. Only Diggle's dry announcement that they had reached their destination as he slammed on the brakes put a stop to their kiss.

The three of them exited the vehicle and made their way into the botanical garden facility. Oliver realized his nerves were on edge and he wanted to hold Felicity's hand but knew their public personas wouldn't allow that freedom. In truth, the three were rarely seen in public together. They spent the majority of their time at QC and the lair where no one could witness their closeness as they lowered their guards. Now though, each was more alert and maintained a polite distance while Oliver was greeted by the Executive Director.

Oliver played his part and thanked them for the private tour even as he declined the assistance of a tour guide. He claimed this was a working excursion and he and his assistant would need to field a number of calls which wouldn't lend itself to politely following a guide. The Executive Director glossed over any inconvenience that would cause but at Oliver's adamant tone did acquiesce in the end.

When Felicity lead them away and skipped several doors Oliver realized just how thoroughly she had planned. She finally came to stop and Oliver moved to stand on one side of her as Diggle placed himself at her other side. Oliver was still concerned and voiced one last quiet objection.

"And what happens if I…if this is a repeat of the greenhouse?" He couldn't bring himself to say anything more specific about his concerns but knew Felicity understood when she placed a hand on his arm and squeezed gently in support. It was Diggle though who unknowingly confirmed Oliver's conclusion that they had planned carefully for every eventuality for this excursion.

"Felicity already rigged the security cameras so we have several minutes free. It won't matter what happens Oliver, it's just us."

Oliver realized he would always be surprised by this woman and couldn't help but smile at her. "You really are remarkable." He also couldn't help but place a quick kiss on her mouth as he knew now Diggle was the only witness and, of course, one kiss turned into three or four.

"It was actually Diggle's idea – I just handled the execution." Felicity confessed once her mouth was free.

"However, I do not need a kiss to say thanks. Feel free to give mine to Felicity." Diggle added with a deadpan expression.

Felicity was laughing when Oliver pressed another kiss to her mouth. She laughed even more when he said, "Thank you Diggle" before kissing her again.

The three then made the way cautiously inside pausing just as the door closed behind them. While it wasn't as overwhelming as the greenhouse the sensations were similar enough that Oliver immediately tensed and held his breath. As Felicity's hand stole into his he looked down at her and stared into her eyes for a moment. At her nod, he took a breath and again looked around the room. He again felt the cloying sweet fragrances surrounding him even as their bright colors wavered before his eyes. He wasn't sure how long he stood immobile but Oliver suddenly felt the tug of Felicity's hand in his and realized she and Diggle were pulling him back out of the room.

Oliver didn't speak when they were back into the hall but he did take several deep breaths. He wasn't sure how his friends were going to respond but he certainly didn't anticipate laughter. He turned to Felicity questioningly even as he squeezed the hand he continued to hold.

"Ok, now we have a baseline and that's great! We need to do one more test though." Felicity's smile faltered now and Oliver noted she again looked to Diggle for support.

Oliver turned his gaze to Diggle as well and saw him nod even as he felt Felicity's hand slip from his. Without a word she turned and pushed back through the doors to enter the exhibit. Oliver instinctively started toward her but stopped when Diggle grabbed his arm.

"Give her a minute, Oliver."

"Digg, what's going on?" Oliver had jumped to his own conclusions but he was hoping he was wrong.

"You know what's going on. We are going back in and you'll need to focus enough to find Felicity."

Oliver gritted his teeth and snarled. "I can't believe you supported this. What is this supposed to prove to you guys now?"

"To us, nothing. However, you need to see that you can focus through this though and then you practice doing just that."

"What?" Oliver couldn't believe this wasn't even the end of their plan.

"We all know you focus on Felicity, Oliver." Diggle's voice was surprisingly gentle as he continued. "She's a source of strength for you and she wants to help you train. If we are going to be able to use your senses as a tool then you need to master them here just as you did on the island. Felicity can help you."

Oliver simply stared at Diggle as his words sunk in. Once again his friends were way ahead of him and understood him better than he realized and even better than he did himself. And again, they had complete faith in his ability to be more. He gave Diggle an abrupt nod to signal his understanding and acceptance.

"Just be relieved she's using her powers for good…it won't be another week of torment for you." Amusement rang through Diggle's voice.

Oliver couldn't help the quick grimace as he well remembered Hell Week. He wasn't surprised at just how much Diggle knew about it even if they had never discussed it. He and Felicity hadn't really discussed it after that first night. As thoughts of that night and the others after it filled his mind, Oliver couldn't help but grin as Diggle's implications finally hit home. If Felicity was on his side this time then her games would be more fun. Oliver pushed past Diggle and strode determinedly back into the exhibit, suddenly very eager to find Felicity. Diggle's laughter followed him but he didn't care as his focus was entirely on Felicity.


	8. Garden variety fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yep, this continues where the last chapter left off so Oliver is ready to find Felicity for some fun! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, many thanks to all who continue to read, bookmark, and/or leave kudos! I really enjoyed this particular story (and no, not just for the smut) so it's great that others have found it fun too! Also, always have to thank Mic RiddyBanon for being my beta but all mistakes are mine!
> 
> DISCLAIMER – No legal claim to Arrow, just having a little fun!

"Just be relieved she's using her powers for good…it won't be another week of torment for you." Amusement rang through Diggle's voice.

Oliver couldn't help the quick grimace as he well remembered Hell Week. He wasn't surprised at just how much Diggle knew about it even if they had never discussed it. He and Felicity hadn't really discussed it after that first night. As thoughts of that night and the others after it filled his mind, Oliver couldn't help but grin as Diggle's implications finally hit home. If Felicity was on his side this time then her games would be more fun. Oliver pushed past Diggle and strode determinedly back into the exhibit, suddenly very eager to find Felicity. Diggle's laughter followed him but he didn't care as his focus was entirely on Felicity.

Re-entering the botanical garden, Oliver was immediately bombarded by the same sense of chaos as the fragrant scents swirled around him. However, as he was expecting the sensations they didn't immediately overwhelm him. He could still see the scent of the flowers flowing up in waves but they didn't distort his vision as they had in the greenhouse. This time he considered that additional sensory stimulus as a storm that he was able to separate himself from - it was as if he was standing in the eye of the storm and was able to remain calm. Oliver was grateful for that respite and he took a moment to focus on the individual scents around him even as he focused his thoughts on Felicity. Closing his eyes, he filtered through the floral fragrances as he sought that singular scent belonging just to her. Despite the clear image of her in his mind he couldn't locate any trace of her inside the swirling vortex of the stronger floral scents. He was forced to take several steps towards the center of the room, but this time he kept his eyes open and sought to use his senses both to evaluate the environment and to also find Felicity.

Remembering Felicity's analogy of the Matrix, Oliver tried to focus on the sensory stimulation itself instead of fighting through it to the real world picture he expected to see. For a brief moment, his vision blurred and it seemed that the waves emanating from the plants took on the color of the blooms. It was as if someone had set off fireworks inside the gardens and Oliver jerked his head around quickly as new colors caught his attention from the periphery. He tried to input the new data but instead Oliver felt a wave of dizziness invade his body and mind. At the unfamiliar sensation of vertigo he briefly closed his eyes and swayed slightly, even as he tried to his maintain control and awareness. He then blinked quickly several times and felt a rush of relief when the picture before his eyes seemed relatively normal. Clearly expecting the sensations was not the same thing as accepting them so he still had work to do on his control, but his main concern was that he still wasn't any closer to finding Felicity.

As always, the thought of her both soothed and aroused him. He forced himself to focus through the jumble of sensations even if he didn't try to open himself up completely to them. Right now, he just needed to focus on survival so he could locate Felicity. Oliver took a few more steps forward and finally there was just the barest hint of a new scent, one he easily recognized and relished. He thought only about that scent as he closed his eyes. When he re-opened them it was as if the storm had receded even further and he could easily locate Felicity's scent lingering in the air.

He took several more steps even as he took a deep breath, surprised he could breathe so freely now. He no longer felt suffocated by the floral scents despite the prolonged exposure. Oliver paused for a moment before he decided to proceed with another test. He cautiously directed his attention to the feel of the air on his skin. In the greenhouse, it had felt like the odors were coating his skin and even seeping into his pores. He had felt like he was fighting through water or quicksand; and the more he struggled the greater the weight pressing into him. Now, while he could feel the humid air on his skin it wasn't cocooning him. He felt free to move and had to smile as that meant he was free to move toward Felicity.

Feeling more confident, Oliver now took the time to more than just scan his surroundings even as he stepped deeper into the garden environment. He could now differentiate between the brilliance of the colorful blooms as well as between the differences in the backdrop of green. The greens varied from the pale bright green of new growth to a green so deep it nearly appeared black. At a slight rustling sound, Oliver stilled and opened his senses further. He could now hear the rustle of leaves and even the buzz of insects that had escaped his notice so far. He could also now smell the distinct and somewhat comforting odor of moist soil and he took a moment to literally let himself be grounded, calm and relaxed. With renewed vigor and confidence, Oliver set these new sensations aside and again focused his attention on the leaves and flowers as he sought Felicity's form within the garden. He noted the variety of leaf patterns from long and spiky, to broad and flat, even as he noticed the colors of the flowers in distinct clusters. A particular cluster of colors caught his attention as it contained a mix of bright hues and he smiled at the find.

He only just realized Felicity's careful planning also included her wardrobe choices. Her blouse contained a pattern of bright colors that could be considered camouflage in this setting. However, now that he was focused, Oliver could easily distinguish not just the colors of her blouse but also the fact that the texture was alien in this natural environment. He took a couple steps toward her before suddenly changing course as he could never resist indulging fully in any challenge Felicity offered.

He quickly found a hiding place off the beaten path and, still using his focus on Felicity, mentally traced a path through the foliage that would conceal him until he was right next to her. Crouching lower he maneuvered quickly through the greenery until one spiky leaf drew blood and he hissed a low sound of annoyance more than pain. Oliver was surprised when he realized he could actually smell the blood. He also always smell blood when the injury was serious but this wound was a surface slice similar to a papercut. This was the first time since the Island that he had consciously noticed the distinctly coppery smell from such a small wound.

Oliver wasn't conscious standing upright, but he was standing when memories of the Island invaded his thoughts and held him immobile. Flashes of blood, fighting, fear, and darkness scrambled his thoughts and he reverted to that more primal existence and relied on his instincts. As he had learned to do there, Oliver first brought his focus internally and then did a quick body scan as he sought total control of himself before he could battle any external forces. He took a moment to feel his pulse lower even as he softened his breathing. He then opened his senses to fully investigate his surrounding, but this time he felt perfectly at home in the world he discovered. No longer were the sensations clashing, chaotic as they fought for his attention; but instead they were perfectly in focus, distinct and easily discernible. He took a deep breath finding the rhythm of the natural world and relaxed further, confident in his ability to blend into and survive his environment.

As he took his next breath, awareness of another human being rippled along Oliver's nerves as his body prepared for fight or flight. He barely even disturbed his surroundings as he instinctively dropped to a low crouch. Oliver allowed himself to refocus on those surroundings and quickly discarded all the natural elements in order to find the distinctly human traits that stood out. He quickly located the unknown presence and slowly eased forward as he sought the strategic advantage against his foe. As he moved slightly a familiar scent reached him and every muscle locked in place as Oliver felt the pull of conflicting instincts as he recognized the scent belonged to Felicity.

As the feral sound of a low moan reached his ears Oliver tensed further until he realized the sound came from him. He also realized Felicity had heard it as she turned toward him. He watched as she searched for a few moments before she found him and met his eyes. He could only imagine what she saw on his face and what she thought of him crouching low, hidden in the leaves. He expected fear to at least flicker across her expressive face, but instead he both saw and heard only concern from her as she whispered his name.

Even without any encouragement from him Felicity started to make her way toward him. Muscles still locked in place, Oliver was only able to follow her movements with his eyes. He focused his entire being on her and greedily sought every detail: the blond hair at the nape of her neck pulled loose from the pony tail by the damp garden, her steady but slightly elevated breathing, her fingers trailing lightly along a broad leaf before she pushed it out of her way, the scrape of her shoe against a rock as she continued until she stood just before him. She then paused and simply watched him and Oliver knew she was aware of his struggle.

Despite her close presence, Oliver remained locked in place, locked in limbo. His instincts pulled him in opposing directions as he felt the draw of the Island even as he felt the draw of this woman. In his mind, there were two distinct paths and two very different Oliver's and he wasn't sure what was real.

It was Felicity herself who broke his internal stand-off as she cried out and dropped to clutch his bleeding hand in both of hers. As Oliver knew she had seen far worse he felt the blood was simply her breaking point and he felt the urge to protect and comfort her, to apologize for bringing her into his Island existence. He was again assailed by the scent of blood and he turned to see his hand in hers. Oliver focused on their joined hands as he fully expected to be bombarded by more Island flashback – he waited tense, worried, but as he watched their hands it was images of Felicity that filled his mind.

He remembered their first night together: the dark intimacy of shared freedom and life, muscles quivering with each movement, shared breaths coming fast and hard, touches becoming more frantic and lips more demanding, until finally release was pulsing through both their bodies.

Before he even realized he had moved, Oliver felt Felicity's body against his as he rolled them slightly in the air to land under her. With his back on the moist ground and Felicity on top of him, Oliver felt his the pull of his instincts for fight or flight but this time those instincts were fully focused on Felicity as she both soothed and aroused him. He took a deep breath and realized the smell of blood had been replaced by the much sweeter and potent scent of Felicity. Oliver's awareness of his environment was now comfortable, but his primary focus was the woman wriggling in his arms even as she opened her mouth to question him.

Oliver cut off her effort to speak by pressing his mouth on hers and slipping his tongue inside. Now the garden again faded into the background as it was Felicity who overwhelmed his senses. It was her taste, her scent, her touch that challenged his control even as it chased away the lingering Island sensations. Oliver felt as if he was bathed in the moonlight instead of being lost in the dark. As always, Felicity was his moonlight and his only thoughts were the joys of being surrounded by her light and his desire to bury himself inside her.

With Felicity on top, Oliver didn't need to keep his weight balanced on arms which freed him to quickly divest Felicity of her blouse and bra even as she worked frantically at his own clothes. In just a matter of minutes he could feel her against his skin as they shared increasingly more demanding kisses. He lifted Felicity up to reposition her even as she raised herself up to help him but paused with his hands holding tightly to her hips. Now with her glowing skin exposed against the backdrop of dark foliage and bright flowers Oliver was simply mesmerized to realize she did fit well in this natural world. No longer were there two paths offered to him but now there was one…only him and his woman. The dark and light merged as he entered Felicity and felt her welcoming acceptance even as he heard her keening cry of arousal. Together they moved with shared breath and kisses, intimate and familiar touches designed to please until it was too much and the pleasure exploded through them.

Oliver dropped his head back on the ground even as he tugged Felicity with him. The scent of them mixed with the damp earth and assorted flowers to create a new scent that would stay with Oliver. He took another deep breath and wrapped his arms more tightly about Felicity but was surprised when she suddenly pushed away from him.

"Oh no, I promised John we wouldn't…" Felicity trailed off to gesture vaguely between them as she blushed.

Oliver couldn't help his laughter but as her eyes narrowed he tugged her down to distract them both with a kiss before he replied. "Okay, so we lie to him."

"Yes, yes – we lie!" Felicity exclaimed in excitement but Oliver watched in amusement and disappointed that she was getting dressed as she continued to ramble. "I know he knows, I do, I know that but I don't think he needs to **know** know so yes, we'll lie. Get up Oliver! We need to leave now!" Felicity continued to blindly attempt to right her hair even as she looked around as if they were leaving other evidence.

Oliver didn't think it would make sense to point out that if her blushes and general state of dishabille didn't give them away then Diggle was still sure to notice the dirt stains on his clothing. Of course, that would also tell Diggle Felicity had been on top and again Oliver decided to withhold that information from Felicity, even if he did have to smother a laugh.

Oliver let Felicity pull him quickly through the botanical exhibit but as they reached the door he couldn't help pulling her back for another kiss. She pulled away too quickly for him and with a low growl he followed. After several more moments they broke apart breathing heavily. Oliver rested his forehead against hers even as he enjoyed the realization that the garden was a much friendlier place with Felicity by his side. He pulled back to smile at her and was rewarded by her answering smile even as she surprised him by pushing him through the door.

"Its about time." Diggle greeted them.

As Oliver watched Diggle quickly scanned Felicity before turning to do the same with him. He watched his friend smother a laugh before he turned away and pulled Oliver's briefcase forward. Oliver had truly forgotten it was there even if they usually carried it with them. In fact, he rarely even knew what Felicity put inside it. He was definitely surprised though when Diggle pulled out a new coat for him, a shrug for Felicity, and even supplied her with a mirror and make-up bag. Oliver turned to see Felicity gasp in equal parts dismay and delight as pink color exploded in her cheeks.

He started shrugging out of his coat even as he watched Felicity repair her make-up after draping the shrug along her shoulders. Oliver breathed a little sigh of relief that she didn't seem too upset that Diggle had prepared for this eventuality. He was also grateful for his friend's foresight and knew he owed him.

"I think we still may need to take the side door for a quick exit though…don't know why it didn't occur to me that you would need new pants too." Diggle didn't bother to hide the grin now.

Oliver re-evaluated his gratitude as he knew his friend was deliberating riling Felicity when he met his eyes and smirked. Oliver stifled a sigh and turned to see Felicity glaring at him. _So much for a little garden variety fun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter is next and I'm posting immediately...I still feel bad for leaving this story as incomplete for several months!! I do hope enjoy the conclusion!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINAL CHAPTER and there's NO SMUT! I just needed Oliver to get to a "happy place" separate from the sex so that's what this chapter did for me!! If you've made it this far, thanks for tagging along for the ride! This was my first M rated adult content fic so this story and Primal Oliver will always be one of my faves!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this chapter didn't turn out as I intended but I do think this may be the ending I needed here (even if there's no smut)! And always, thanks to Mic Riddy who is my wonderful beta and friend!
> 
> DISCLAIMER – CW's Arrow is certainly owned by others, I'm just playing in the darkness they've created!

Ever since the botanical garden experiment that afternoon Oliver had been on edge. Felicity had once again saved him by allowing him to channel his energy into her but even that didn't soothe his nerves completely. It felt as if his body was again ready for a battle – fight or flight. Oliver couldn't shake the restless energy rippling along his nerves so by the time Felicity had fallen asleep he felt like a caged animal – tense, restless, and eager to escape. With a low growl Oliver abandoned the sanctuary Felicity provided and escaped on his bike.

Pushing his speed higher, Oliver felt his tension ease as the night called to him once again. As the cityscape blurred by his body felt free even as his mind struggled. He started seeing replays of both the greenhouse and botanical garden on a constant loop in his mind. His brain scrambled to process the details even as he sought to stifle the feelings the memories evoked. To Oliver, it felt as if he was losing his control and possibly his grip on reality.

Oliver was intimately acquainted with nightmares from the Island and understood his ghosts would always be with him. Today was different though as it was the first time he felt his ghosts had won while he was awake. It was the first time the Island had taken complete control of him and that left him feeling shaken.

The fact that Felicity snapped him out of it wasn't surprising, but it was still a little unnerving. He fought hard for his control and hated it whenever he felt things slipped through his defenses … Felicity would say he sulks but that wasn't true. Oliver smiled slightly at Felicity's voice being present in his own internal monologue before he delved back into the dark abyss of his self-analysis.

It was one thing when an adversary landed a blow but it was another when it was your own subconscious doling out the punishment. _How could you fight yourself?_ This wasn't a battle he could win with sheer determination, better aim, or more control; and yet it was a battle he both needed and wanted to win.

Oliver drew up sharply as he knew better than to ever neglect his awareness of his surroundings and he had basically been driving on auto-pilot for the last hour. Cursing under his breath, Oliver pulled off the road and tried to focus on getting his head on straight. Only then did he realize he had left the City behind and was standing on the outskirts of a forest. Feeling dangerous and somewhat desperate Oliver stowed his gear, grabbed his bow, and headed toward the dark woods. As he looked up into the dark sky he didn't miss the irony that clouds obscured the moon from his view.

Oliver moved quickly and quietly through the forest with no real destination in mind. He just knew he needed to reach out to his ghosts again, he needed to test his control again but without Felicity's help this time. As he made his way further forward Oliver slowly opened his senses to his environment. He wasn't sure what he was expecting considering the fireworks and whirlwinds of the greenhouse and botanical garden but this felt more like greeting an old friend, easy, comfortable. As he continued to ease into this environment, Oliver felt his restlessness further subside as the forest welcomed him home.

Oliver felt each step he took on ground still moist from the evening rain, he heard the slight rustling from his steps just as he could hear the rustling of animals nearby. He could smell the trees, plants, and even the water of a nearby stream. He could feel the stirring of the damp air on his skin from the breeze and despite the darkness Oliver would easily find a trail through the dark forest.

As he reached the stream Oliver paused to simply breathe and be in the moment. Comfortable in the forest, he brought his focus inward. At his darkest on the Island, he was alone, hurt, angry, and desperate. He had faced some truths about himself and his time there and he had even learned to accept the consequences as he well understood the battle for survival there. But here now, he was healthy, strong, and had two people always on his side. Now he had so much more to live for than ever before. He'd thought he'd overcome the worst of the Island when he first returned home but it seemed he was again fighting to survive and the fear of losing went much deeper this time. This time he had not just himself to los but Felicity as well.

_Why was he struggling now? Why now was his control being tested?_

In that moment, Oliver suddenly realized he had been looking at this all wrong. He had been battling his senses and battling for control but what if those were just the symptoms and not the disease? Oliver heard the blood rush in his ears and he felt the faster pounding of his heart even as a chill racked his body. He was afraid and uncertain even as he recognized this particular fear. It was a fear he had thought was permanently buried on the Island.

For a moment, Oliver was undecided whether this battle was worth it and whether or not he could win. If he buried this fear again and moved on he could survive as he was currently, broken and dark but alive. It wouldn't be the life with Felicity he sometimes saw in his dreams but he would survive. Thoughts of Felicity rushed through his mind and heart and Oliver thought about her now and even as images of Diggle and Thea joined her. He did want to be the man they thought he was but he wasn't sure he willing or able to do this for them.

Oliver took several deep steadying breaths as he continued to evaluate his choices. Survival or life? Fight or flight? Future or past? He knew the choice was his to make and the consequences his to live with – no one could do this for him.

For several minutes Oliver simply allowed his thoughts to wonder and tried not to fight his feelings. First, he saw Island: his father taking his own life so he could live, he saw Shado fall as he moved in front of Sara, he saw Slade destroyed by the serum. Darkness, fear, anger tainted those scenes so completely that even now he could still taste those emotions in the memories. Then slowly those images were replaced by his 'happy stories': Felicity questioning his energy drink in a syringe even as she still smiled and helped him, Diggle training with him even as he pushed him to do things differently, Thea smiling and teasing him even as she asked him to open up to her, Felicity rushing forward to hug him after a difficult mission, Felicity kissing him. _Felicity, Diggle, Thea, Felicity, Felicity, Felicity._

Taking another deep breath Oliver realized there was no real choice. Smiling slightly at the ease of the final decision, Oliver chose his path and not just for Felicity, Diggle and Thea but for himself. He wanted more than just survival now. With that decision made, Oliver again brought his focus inward and he calmed himself in preparation for the battle.

Oliver had accepted the darkness in himself but it had never occurred to him that it was anything other than a black hole, empty and dark. He simply ignored that part of himself and worked on building the good. He didn't always see himself as Felicity did but she still inspired him to want to be that man. The Island had left its scars and its ghosts but Oliver knew that was a price he was willing to pay now that his future stretched before him. The scars and ghosts were reminders of the knowledge and skills he'd gained on the Island. As long as he did good as the Arrow then it was worth it.

The darkness of the night mirrored his thoughts and for the first time Oliver wondered about that side of himself. He had long ago accepted its place in his life even as he tried to protect others from it. Felicity's light was the first to pierce that darkness even as it blended with it and brightened the shadows. Still he didn't explore it though but simply buried it deep within away from both Felicity's light and himself.

Now though as he gathered his courage and looked into the darkness, it seemed there was something even darker lurking in those shadows. A part of him that crouched low in the darkness like a predatory animal, springing out in moments of weakness and threatening the life he had built since his return. This was the part he didn't know and couldn't control but yet it was a part that still felt familiar.

It was in that moment that Oliver realized the darkness stemmed from well before his time on the Island. He took a moment to consider not just the Island but also his life before it which was seemed like more than a lifetime ago. That person was cold, selfish, careless, and filled with darkness even as his life seemed superficially bright and easy. Reliving the memories from that part of his life was more difficult than Oliver had imagined and he felt awash in the shame of his choices and actions during that time. However, he knew it was necessary to truly see that part of himself if he wasn't going to repeat those earlier mistakes or become that person again.

Oliver knew the person he had become on the Island was even darker still. He hadn't just gained skills and knowledge but had tapped into a more primal side of himself. It was that side that saw the world in terms of predator and prey. It was that side that heightened his senses even as it honed instincts. That was the part he had recently discovered and somewhat understood but yet hadn't been able to fully accept. However, that was also the side that kept him alive on the Island and eventually brought him to Felicity.

With that thought in mind, it was easier to accept that part of himself. Perhaps he didn't need to suppress those primal urges or bury the darkness. Perhaps he could again use them to ensure not just his survival but Felicity's as well. However, Oliver also knew it was about more than survival now – it was also about living not in the darkness but in the light.

His eyes opened now Oliver saw the silvery glow of the moon as a sliver of it peeked from behind the clouds and realized he could see clearly see the light and the dark. The battleground suddenly became clear to Oliver. Just as discovering he loved Felicity felt like finding a missing puzzle piece of himself, Oliver discovered a few more pieces now.

Since his return Oliver had tried to piece his life back together, but when he'd had difficulty reconciling his present and future with his past he had simply stopped searching for those pieces. He had focused on what he could do here and now. He made his way through the list and fought for justice in his city in the hope that those things could fill the holes but they didn't. Even Felicity and Diggle who had done more to make him whole than anyone or anything else couldn't fill those holes. He was the one who had to find those last pieces and he was the one who had to put himself back together.

Oliver realized the pieces had always been there lying in the darkness but he had always been too afraid to look at them. Now that he had found those pieces he could accept that he was just a man - flawed and imperfect to be sure, but still a whole person. Pausing for a moment, Oliver let the realization sink deeper inside him and felt the truth of it. He finally accepted that having the darkness within didn't mean it would control him and take over. He was the only one could decide his actions and that realization was freeing and exhilarating.

Before, his ironclad control had been born in fear and had been about hiding from himself and suppressing parts of himself. Now he realized knowledge and acceptance were much more powerful tools than superficial control. He would never see himself as the hero Felicity saw but he found he could accept his scars and ghosts and even the darkness within – he could accept the man he was and move forward.

As the moon emerged fully from the clouds Oliver felt true freedom and took a deep breath as a feeling of awareness, of life, rippled along his nerves. He wasn't sure what the future held but he did believe he had one now and it was worth fighting for … starting with Felicity. Oliver was smiling as he made his way back through the forest to return to his bike. He drove straight back to the lair as he knew Felicity would also have found her way there. He enjoyed the night as he rode and he was glad he had made this trip, but he was ready to return to Felicity where he found true contentment and freedom.

Focused on Felicity, Oliver made his way quickly and quietly in the lair eager to see Felicity. He scanned the room and saw she was asleep on the couch wrapped up in one of his grey hoodies. As he passed by the computers he paused and noted the tracking program was up and his meandering path tonight was clearly marked and somehow very symbolic. He wasn't surprised to find Felicity here nor was he surprised that she was watching out for him even as she let him struggle to do things his way.

He continued on toward the sleeping blond and knelt down to brush a few stray hairs from her face as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Oliver dropped his forehead to hers and timed his breathing with hers and he felt whole. Oliver gathered Felicity close and stood with her in his arms so he could lay down on the couch with her snuggled half on top of him.

As Oliver closed his eyes to simply enjoy the woman in his arms - he was glad he had finally seen the light and he wasn't surprised at all that it glowed like moonlight. Felicity was the guiding light in his life that soothed and aroused, that inspired him to dream even as she grounded him in reality, and she made him better. Oliver loved her for that but he also loved her for letting him find his own way to her and to himself. Oliver hugged Felicity closer even as he too drifted into peaceful sleep.

Early the next morning, Oliver opened his eyes and watched Diggle descend into the lair but he remained on the couch holding Felicity as she slept. At Diggle's raised brow but continued silence Oliver spoke quietly.

"It's fine – she's sleeps deeply."

"You okay?"

Oliver had really expected him to question him about Felicity as he figured she had alerted Diggle when he'd made his escaper earlier. As the surprise wore off he gave the question serious thought before he replied, "I think so."

He met Diggle's eyes as he continued. He needed his friend to confirm his recent discoveries. "Does the past ever stay in the past? Do the ghosts ever move on?"

"I think that depends on whether or not you move on or you stay in the past."

"Just that easy? I chose the future, I chose …" Oliver let the sentence trail off even as he tightened his hold on Felicity and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Not easy but yes. Some days will be harder than others but you have to make the choice each day and stand by it. You can't bolt every time there's a bad day."

Oliver heard and accepted the censure in his friend's tone.

"She's tough and she's in it for the long haul Oliver … but you can't keep pushing her away then drawing her back in. You need to make a choice."

Oliver met Diggle's eyes and watched as his friend evaluated him. Diggle suddenly smiled and Oliver knew he had read his decision clearly on his face.

"You've made your choice? Felicity's 'Team Arrow' is ready to fight the good fight and save the City?!"

Oliver knew his friend wasn't really asking but he still responded. "Yes, I've decided and yes, Felicity's 'Team Arrow' will fight for good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for making to the end with me! I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did!! :) This one was my first foray into smut but I quickly found that I like it here and have written other M rated stories (all of which are posted here if you are interested)! I do hope to continue Intimacy as well as possibly Winner Takes All so pls feel free to let me know if you have suggestions!! I make no promises but I'm always open to inspiration! Thanks again for your support!


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